Hammerpants:: Seen this?

[He sent a link to this image]

APK: Yah. But what I don’t get is why people think the image is odd.
APK: I don’t know what fucked up history book YOU read but it was in mine.
Hammerpants:: No its weird because Voltron isn’t there!
APK: He was in JAPAN!
APK: God, how did you graduate?

Two bits of fun for you today! First up, a video showing you how to massage your possum. Yes. And then the leaked THOR trailer! Awww hell yes. Thor! Trailer!

A few months ago Juliana Finch and I shared a stage. She sang, read poetry and told stories. I just told stories (rumors of my singing as many as three lines from Ice, Ice Baby are to be taken as unprovable). We spent upwards of three hours just having a blast. We always intended to do it again.

It recently came to our attention that my birthday is August 19th. Juliana’s birthday is August 21st. Plus — August 20th is a Friday. That was when we decided we needed to do something. So we did something.

We’re going to do a show. We’re going to throw a party. We’re going to have a lot of fun. And you’re invited. All we have so far, mind you, is a hashtag we are going to use on twitter, a date and a time. The rest? Well, we’re working that out. We want to have video and audio and chat rooms and everything else. We may. We may not. We’re trying to work it all out. As we get stuff locked we will pass it on.

But the general thing is that there will, somehow, be songs and stories and laughter and drinking. On-line. For free. Because we can. So mark your calendars, guys. There’s a birthday party / free concert / insanity coming. And it’s gonna be… bodacious.

Adam P. Knave, Esq. & Jules “Juliana” Finch

It’s time once again for Consumerism Wow! This is the July edition. It is still July when this goes up. At least one item is only offered for July so runrunRUN! If you’ve forgotten how this works, it’s simple! I like t-shirts. Lauren likes t-shirts. Lauren is also awesome and so we decided to make this post where the following will happen! I picked some t-shirts! She then told me why I picked those shirts. I then told her why she was utterly wrong.

Thing #1

Lauren: Who’s the mustachioed presidential pick who’s a sex machine to all the chicks? Who’s the cat that won’t cop out when there’s Democrats allllll about? They say this cat Taft is a baaad mother–

Adam: Shut yo’ mouth! …and that’s why this shirt exists.

Thing #2

Lauren: I… I don’t want any of the Elder Gods using Twitter. It’s bad enough as it is! I mean. ReTweets and pronfollows and foursquare are enough to drive anyone mad already. Are you one of Twithulu’s cultists? Is that why you want this shirt? Fess up.

Adam: Cultist is such a strong word. We prefer “Empire Building Joy Minion” these days. Besides when Twitthulhu comes and devours the souls of everyone on twitter who will notice?
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My birthday is August 19th. Hooray? Most years people ask me what I want for my birthday, and most years I say “buy a book” or “take off those pants, sailor,” but this year I got something else:

My dear friend Juliana Finch is raising money to record her newest album. I got a powerful want of hearing it. But she needs to raise a bunch of money to make it happen. Now, it just so happens that her birthday and mine are close.

So here’s what I want for my birthday!

I want you to go to her Kickstarter for the project and donate some money. $5 is great. More is magical. Now with each level of donation you get free stuff from Juliana. That’s awesome. Free music, phone calls, concerts even! I’m gonna sweeten the pot a tiny bit:

Juliana’s current incentives:

Pledge $25 or more
MP3 download of the album before it is released to the general public. PLUS: a signed, limited edition hard copy of the album, PLUS: * A copy of my first EP. * A download card for my full-length album, “How To Take the Fall.”

Pledge $50 or more
All of the above, PLUS: *A personal phone call from me so I can say “Thanks!” and you can ask me whatever you want within polite limits. This can also be via online chat if you prefer.

Pledge $100 or more
All of the above, PLUS: *A private house concert for your friends & family if you live within an 8-hour drive of Atlanta, GA.

Pledge $500 or more
All of the above, PLUS: * A private house concert for your friends & family if you live anywhere in the U.S. !

Pledge $1,000 or more
All of the above, PLUS: I will write a song specifically inspired by your life!

But now, let’s make this more fun!

Introducing my bonus incentives:

Pledge $25 or more
All of Juliana’s incentives PLUS a copy of any of my prose books, signed.

Pledge $50 or more
All of the above, PLUS: Two of my prose books, signed.

Pledge $100 or more
All of the above, PLUS: A copy of Image comics Popgun volume 4 signed.

Pledge $500 or more
All of the above, PLUS: A personal phone call to tell you strange and wonderful stories of life, insanity and pop culture!

Pledge $1,000 or more
All of the above, PLUS: I will write a short story (1-5 thousand words in length) specifically for you!

So yes. This is what I want for my birthday. Please won’t you click this link and make some fun things happen?

* Remember, pledges only go through if the full amount is funded.

So Christopher Eccelston starred in a Lennon profile called Lennon Naked. His co-star, playing Yoko, was Naoko Mori. Yes, the 9th Doctor and Toshiko from Torchwood starred together in a Lennon film. Sometimes it just works out that way.

Of course, in the film, they felt the need to show John and Yoko creating the famous nude shot of them. Which means you can also end up seeing the 9th Doctor and Toshiko naked.

Do I have to mention that the pics are pretty NSFW? I didn’t think so. But if you want them, someone sent these to me (because people send me stuff like this in the mail sometimes) and now I share them with you:
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I learned a new term last night. I’ll get there, but let me back up and start from the start, as they say. See, my toilet broke again on Friday. I know, right? I’m gonna develop a complex. A phobia. It isn’t like I abuse the thing, or use it abnormally much or anything like that. Really it is simply due to time. I am willing to bet the thing was fine for years before I got there and will now be fine for years to come – I just happened to live in this apartment during the period where bits of toilet needed replacing.

This time it was the flushing bit. As almost all people in NY do, I have a tankless toilet. Hit the handle, it flushes, taa-daa, and we’re done. Except when I hit the handle it would start to flush and then make a KA-CHUNK noise like it was going to explode. If I held the handle down it would flush fine until I let go. At which point: KA-CHUNK.

So I called the super and he came up and fixed it, whatever, it’s fine and dandy now and there’s no real story there.

Except.

Sunday night he comes by with the incident report for me to sign. Because he has to bill a plumber for a part, I have to sign off on paperwork. And this is where the new word comes in.

“Let’s see. The problem…” he muttered as he filled it out, “your flushometer was broken.”

My.. my what? My flushometer.

He pronounced it as “Flush-ah-meh-ter” which is correct. Truth is, though, I want to say it is a “Flush-o-meter” which sounds far more exciting. This is a perfectly normal bit of plumbing – a flushometer controls the amount of water that is released when you flush a tankless toilet. It also controls the duration of said flush. But they called it a flushometer!

Flushometer!

I hear silly science fiction terms all the time and gloss over them. Flux capacitor, for example. Old Stan Lee stuff brings a smile to my face. But I didn’t think that the world of plumbing had been written by Stan Lee!

I was wrong.

Because you know that the Fantastic Four once had to use the Ultimate Nullifier to connect to a Cosmic Flushometer and Partial Neutrino Regulator, which itself was spliced with a Negative Zone portal shot through with … I’m just saying. Flushometer.

Flushometer people!

Flushometer!

Popgun 3 won the Eisner for Best Anthology.

Yeah. Thomas Jane presented the award for Best Anthology to Popgun vol. 3, edited by Mark Andrew Smith, D. J. Kirkbride, and Joe Keatinge. DJ and Joe were there. I can’t imagine what they felt like. I am having trouble imagining what I feel like now. I mean… I was on the editing team for an anthology that just won a god damned Eisner. So were Thomas Mauer and Steven Finch. We won an Eisner. Well, DJ, Mark and Joe won an Eisner but… we won an Eisner.

And yeah, I know my name isn’t in lights, I was the assistant editor on the book and they can’t name everyone and that’s fine. I am in no way hurt by that. Because that book is ours. It’s Mark’s, DJ’s, Joe’s mine and Thomas’ and Steven’s. We all worked so hard making this the best book we could, and it seems the industry agreed with our work. But that work wasn’t just us. If we busted ass, so did each and every creator who worked on the book, because without them we have … blank pages, really. So congratulations to:

Alison Acton, Joshua Agerstrand, Laura Allred, Anjin Anhut, Kris Anka, Amanda Becker, Peter Bergting, Patricio Betteo, Danilo Beyruth, Sam Bosma, Dan Brereton, Olaf Brill, Dennis Brown, Antonio Campo, Dominique Carrier, Celor, Jim Charalampidis, Bobby Clark, Ryan Cody, Dave Collinson, Dave Curd, Mike Dawson, Ben DeRosa, Michael Dialynas, JEIK Dion, Juan Doe, Becky Dreistadt, Nathan Edmondson, Ulises Farinas, Ray Fawkes, Gary Fields, Fonografiks, Frank Gibson, Vassilis Gogtzilas, Zac Gorman, George Gousis, Paul Grist, Scott Hallett, Jason Hanley, David Hopkins, Jason Ibarra, Joëlle Jones, Janet Kim, D.J. Kirkbride, Nic Klein, Adam P. Knave, Peter Krause, Edward Kwong, Erik Larsen, Robbie Lawrence, Johann “Ullcer” Leroux, Maximo V. Lorenzo, Thomas Mauer, Derek McCulloch, Sam McKenzie, Tara McPherson, Alberto Mielgo, Robb Mommaerts, Paul Montgomery, Chris Moreno, Matt Moylan, Ralph Niese, Anthony Nixon, Josh Parpan, Jeff Powell, Isam Prado, Justin Randall, Stephen Reedy, Jamie S. Rich, Rachelle Rosenberg, David Rubin, Matteo Scalera, Douglas E. Sherwood, Guillaume Singelin, Eric Skillman, Mark Andrew Smith, Eric Stephenson, Alisa Stern, Amy Stern, Chris Stevens, Frank Stockton, Andre Szymanowicz, Gregory Titus, Ron Turner, Christian Ward, Daniel Warner, Connor Willumsen, Brian Winkeler, Michael Woods, Derek Yu, K.I. Zachopoulos, Tonci Zonji and Jim Zubkavich, too.

Big thanks, too, to Image Comics for all their support and that whole “publishing the book” thing.

Holy crap. Woo!

I am writing a series of posts about NY for people who are coming into town for BlogHer this August. My friend Jett suggested the idea and I ran with it. Today we’re going to finish it all up by answering your questions and tossing out a few things I forgot to mention throughout the week.

Many of the things I forgot were noted by other people reading this and for all of those people I want to say: Thanks. Some of the stuff just didn’t fit because if you go into too much detail everything gets more confusing and sometimes I just forgot little things here and there in my efforts to get everything down. But some of NYers who did read this wanted to help, and offer advice and correct stuff which I appreciate.

So let’s see what we have out there to add!

First up a quick note about cabs. Someone reminded me of one tiny bit to mention to you. When looking at that meter:

In the far corner, and sometimes it is in the right corner and not the left, depending on the model of meter, there is a lone “1.” That is the Fare Type. It should always be a 1. If it is ever not a 1 but a 2 or 4 or whatever, mention it to the driver and ask. Different fare types have different meter rates and though sometimes changing the type is an accident, sometimes it is a scam. See, if they change the fare type to 4, say, the meter will run much faster and a ride that should cost 15 bucks will end up costing 22. So glance at it, just in case.
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I am writing a series of posts about NY for people who are coming into town for BlogHer this August. My friend Jett suggested the idea and I ran with it. Today we’re going to talk about cabs.

You might take a cab while you’re in NY. That’s great! Cabs are a wonderful thing. There are, of course, some things you should know. All NY taxis are licensed by the Taxi and Limousine Commission. They are all the same yellow color. They have indicator lights on the roof. We will come back to those lights, they are important.

But first, how do you hail a cab? This is fairly simple. You stand on the curb and raise an arm. That’s it. You don’t have to shout, whistle or wave. In fact, please don’t do any of those things. Here, for example, is Cameron Diaz hailing a cab:

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