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What with Tom and Katie getting supposedly married tomorrow I thought a look into their ceremony was in order.

So I looked.

They will be using a form of what is known as the “Traditional Ceremony” in Scientology. It has vows that Hubbard himself wrote in the 50s. Aside from the vows it seems like a perfectly “normal” ceremony.

But the Hubbard stuff… things he has… well here is part of the ceremony. Just a small part, with a line bolded because, oh my. You can find the whole ceremony if you want to but why would you want to? Anyway! On with the show!

Attend!

Uncover and be still you present here in this, a holy place.

For we today shall marry here this groom and bride and wish them well.

Rejoice!

You line of struggling life from eons gone to now for here again your track is sped and winged into a future fate by this a union of a man and bride whose child shall pace a further span of Destiny and Life.

Forbear!

For here shall be no calumny or whispered word against you, man or woman thou for this the union you contract does wipe away all sorrow of the past.
Speak out then now if any man or girl would speak and say here a reason why these two should not be wed.

And silence heard does speak out plain there’s none.

(Groom’s name), do you pledge to take this woman for your lawful wife?

(Answer)

Do you, (groom’s name), make promise here before us all to keep her well or ill?

Do you?

(Answer)

And when she’s older do you then keep her still? Do you?

(Answer)

Now, (groom’s name), girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills: a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat, all caprice if you will but still they need them.

Do you then provide?

Do you?

(Answer)

Hear well, sweet (bride’s name), for promise binds, young men are free and may forget.

Remind him then that you may have necessities and follies, too.

Now, (groom’s name)!

Attend!

Do you, best man, possess a ring?

(Groom’s name), take it please and, (bride’s name), your hand will he enclasp.

We have it now.

Repeat!