Love God’s Way has a list of GAY BANDS. See, listening to that there gay music will get gay on you and then you’ll be gayified! Among the Gay Bands:

Cole Porter – The evilest of evil music

The Doors, Phish and Queen – in that order. Something about that order makes me laugh.

Also in order: Madonna, Elton John, Barry Manilow, Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheridge. They needed a web page to tell people Elton John was gay? They’re in worse shape than I thought.

Frank Sinatra – Gay? Really? Frank’s music is gay? Huh.

At the end of their list, I kid you not, is “Elton John(really gay)”. So I guess they didn’t really need to put him there, but put him there twice with a warning. though Liberace isn’t there. Ghostface Killah is.

Now, they also list some SAFE Bands. I assume they feel then that the music provided by these artists is safe for your children to listen to and will be in no way sinful.

Number 2 on their list of safe bands? Cyndi Lauper. Have they never heard She-Bop? Christ, what’s a girl gotta do to be taken off the safe list? Writing an entire song about masturbation doesn’t do it? No, this is because Madonna is a gay band, so Cyndi Lauper must be a safe band. Come on! Show Cyndi some respect! I am writing them a letter to demand that they make her a gay band.

No. Seriously.

lovegodsway.org@gmail.com is their email address. I sent this mail before posting this entry:

Recently I came across your listings of “gay” and “safe” bands. I agree with some of your choices on both lists. Certainly members of the band Queen were gay. They don’t denied this. The Indigo Girls are, in fact, both gay. Good on ya!

So you seem to be on track so far.

The “safe” band list has P.O.D. which makes sense. They must be safe as no one wants to listen to them. Can’t get safer than silence! Keep up the faith!

However.

On your safe list I see Cyndi Lauper. How horribly unfair to her. She is as edgy and potentially wicked as any of her peers, all of which appear on the other list. why would you list her on the “safe” list? Is it meant as an insult? I think so.

So I ask you to consider the following: Cyndi Lauper wrote a song called She-Bop. Lyrics include:

Do I wanna go out with a lion’s roar
Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop–or I’ll go blind

It is a song about females masturbating. This is safe music to you? I mean, hey I think it’s a great song, but I am also obviously a heathen. So I beg you, please, reconsider. Let Cyndi Lauper go free! Consider her “safe” and boring no longer! Let my people go.

Also: Frank Sinatra is gay music? Brother, nothing makes me want to suck some big cock more than hearing that.

Keep up the good work and go with God!

Adam P. Knave