So last night I was walking around humming Tainted Love and my brain stuck some odd alternate lyrics in. So I fleshed them out. I present to you the Breakfast Club version of the song:

Tainted Judd

Sometimes Emilio’s got to
Run away He’s got to
Get away
From the school that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I’ve lost my light
For I toss and turn I can’t sleep at night

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I’ll run from you
This Tainted Judd you’ve given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears but not Mol’ Ringwald
Oh…Tainted Judd
Tainted Judd

Now I know I’ve got to
Run away I’ve got to
Get away
You don’t really want Judd any more from me
To make things right
You need Sheedy to hold you tight
And you’ll think love is to pray
But I’m sorry I don’t pray that way

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I’ll run from you
This Tainted Judd you’ve given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears but not Anth’ny Michael Hall
Oh…Tainted Judd
Tainted Judd

Don’t touch Sheedy
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love jocks though they hurt me so
Now I’m going to pack my things and go
Tainted Judd, Tainted Judd
Tainted Judd, Tainted Judd
Touch me baby, Tainted Judd
Touch me baby, Tainted Judd
Tainted Judd
Tainted Judd
Tainted Judd