Headline of the day: Microsoft Urges Antitrust Officials to Scuttle DoubleClick Deal.

I mean come on. Seriously? But it gets better. witness this paragraph:

Microsoft was joined today by AT&T, a company that traces its lineage to the Ma Bell monopoly that was broken up in the mid-1980s. “We think antitrust authorities should take a hard look at this deal and the implications,” said Jim Cicconi, senior executive vice president for external affairs at AT&T. “If any one company gets a hammerlock on the online advertising space, as Google seems to be trying to do, that is worrisome.”

It’s like the “Beaten by the Monopoly Stick Players”. Think they have matching sweatshirts?

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The Peeing Boy drink dispenser. Yeah. Have a statue of a little boy pee your drink into your cup for you. Yup. Uh huh.

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Or you could buy the Blow Monkey. It’s a little thing to help you dry your nails, see. It’s… God help us. It’s the Blow Monkey.

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In case you missed it: This weekend I mentioned I was on Twitter. I am using it, 99% of the time, to write fiction in 140 characters or less, as started by Ariana. It was a great idea and I’ve been doing a few a day so far. Here are 4 (of the 5, mind you) that I’ve written to date, including the one from this morning:

Every day I try again. Every day I fail. Lashed to this tree, I struggle. My empty eye socket itches. Wisdom had better be worth it.

Stars above. Stars below. I drown in them and they become my only company in this beautiful silence. Fuck, air’s gone.

We won’t back down. We won’t surrender. No matter how many swords they have, no matter how high they kick. Damn ninja are going down. Arrrr!

Vampire’s bite. It kills me, but it will make me so much more soon. The power is worth the pain. Oh! The pain! Jesus! Three days to go.

So there ya go. Little drops of fiction. These are fun as hell to work up.