Please to be noting
If you are walking down a flight of stairs and your sandal comes off as you take a step do not, I repeat Do Not, kick the thing in frustration.

If you were to kick it, chances are it would fly down the stairs. If it flew down the stairs it might, it really might, hit someone in the back of the head. See, sometimes there are other people on the stairs. So if this were to happen, and you were to hit someone in the head with your sandal and then they were to, oh I don’t know, stop and turn around.

When they picked your sandal off the floor and held it out to you with a look of “why the fuck did you do that?” the proper response is not, and again I will repeat Is Not, “Well it wasn’t like I meant it.” because that will not endear you to the person whose head you just hit.

It may, in fact, result in that person shrugging, and dropping your slipper and “accidentally” dropping it so it falls a couple of stories further down, leaving you with one sandal. And when you ask, if you were, why that was done? Expect and do not be shocked at the answer of “Well it wasn’t like I meant it.”

Just saying.