Just now at work
Filed Under (NY Life) by APK on 23-05-2007
The Scene – the cafeteria
The Players – me (getting coffee), J (doing some work as the asst. manager of the caf.)
J: So how’s the coffee?
Me: Well… it isn’t technically harmful to man or beast…
J: Oh, come on, is it that bad?
Me: Look, it isn’t weaponized, all right? It won’t hurt anyone to drink.
J: It can’t be that bad.
Me: Have you tried it?
J: I don’t drink coffee.
Me: So you’re telling me it’s good because you want it to be good?
J: Our food is good!
Me: Yes, it certainly can be very good. But food is not coffee.
J: What’s wrong with it?
Me: It tastes like it was made by someone who has heard of coffee, you know? But they never got to taste it.
J: You should have Spanish coffee…
Me: With steamed milk and way too much sugar. Yeah. Been there. It’s good stuff, but that also isn’t what you have here.
J: So it’s really that bad, huh?
Me: It used to be far worse.
J: Wow what was that like?
Me: Ever punch yourself in the face with a horseshoe and then set your ears on fire while singing ABBA songs?
J: … what? No…
Me: Well that was about what it was like. This stuff is worlds better. Like… down to just a punch in the face with a horseshoe maybe.
J: Then why are you drinking it?
Me: Horseshoe fetish, I guess.
** Mice
** The Secret – revealed.
** Hi.
** Life.
** So but then…

