(via The Sun):

Scarlett Johansson has landed her most explicit role yet – that of the world’s biggest porn star.

The 22-year-old will take the lead role in the forthcoming, x-rated biopic of Jenna Jameson.

And legendary adult entertainer Jameson chose Scarlett specifically for the role. She explained, “I tapped up Scarlett for the part and I’m very excited about the film. It was my decision not to play the role because I’ve lived that tale already and anyone can play themselves.”

The film will be based on Jenna’s autobiography, How To Make Love Like A Porn Star.

EDIT People says she isn’t. It’s a strange split and doesn’t all quite add up to the last time this started. So your guess is as good as mine.

Hot Fuzz is out on DVD! this makes me happy. It was a fantastic movie.

300 is also out which I will probably pick up eventually. But maybe not. I dunno, I liked it but did I like it enough? Well, probably. It’s a good turn off your brain type of thing.

This is great though. Babylon 5: the lost tales DVD? Flipping channels in boredom the other day I caught an episode of Farscape (Liars, Guns and Money part 3: Plan B if any of you gave a crap) and after the show channel 9 aired a “Farscape has been brought to you… Babylon 5: the lost tales now on DVD”. I dunno, it made me laugh. Probably because I don’t like B5 at all (yes I’ve seen a bunch of it, no I don’t care that “the later seasons get amazing”, the stuff I saw wasn’t and I don’t feel like wasting more time to see something I didn’t like in hopes that maybe it becomes decent later. The same holds true with Buffy, that crapfest).

They also had a promo for Stargate SG-1 season 10 on dvd. That makes sense. Browder and Black are in both. But the way they cut the trailer, they tried to make the show look exciting, interesting, fun. It is, of course, none of these things. They had to use every half-way exciting moment in the season, I think, to make that one trailer. And yeah, I watched a bunch of episodes of that one, because I adore Browder and Black as actors. But wow. That show stunk.

Anyway. This whole post? It was because I might get my Hot Fuzz DVD today and will watch it tonight and laugh all over again. The rest of the stuff? Whatever.

Sometimes you just have to. Me? I had to.

Hey, Bill.

What’s going down, Feldog?

Last night, this guy, I think he was crazy and homeless or something, he was walking down the block, but really stumbling.

A drunk?

I guess. Yeah and he was grumbling and groaning and shit. I dunno, it was just odd.

Wait… moaning and groaning? Shuffling along?

Yeah, stumbling and shit.

Zombie.

Zombies don’t exist.

Remember that time I hooked you up with that hot green chick?

Hells yeah! Shinbala Gwanese Tikilak?

Yeah, her.

What about her?

That wasn’t make-up.

What? So aliens and zombies? And I was almost attacked by a zombie? Fuck, come on, Shat, don’t try and sell me this shit. Zombies? If there were zombies wouldn’t the whole world be taken over?

Maybe not the whole world. Where did you spend last night?

I did a radio gig, crashed in the booth. Why?

Damn it! I knew it! Nimoy warned me about this! Shit. All right. What we need to do is get some weapons.

You’re… you’re serious, aren’t you, Bill?

Never been more serious, Feldog.

Fuck! All right! I’ve used guns! We can do this!

We’ll save the world, man.

Again.

Again.

Should we get help?

Where’s the fun? Oh wait! I know! HEY! Dustin?

What is it, Bill?

There were some fans of yours outside. I had them wait.

Suh-weeet! I’ll go greet them.

And now we have an excuse to kill him. Oh no, officer, I thought he was undead.

That’s cold as hell, Bill.

But funny.

No doubt.

Anyway, save the world?

And get the chicks.

So this weekend I was thinking. And thinking begat action. Action begat … well we’ll get there.

I like memes. Not quizzes, but memes, the crazy strange things that trap our souls here on the intardnets. I like them a lot. So do, of course, a lot of other people. So I started a new site:

It’s a place to collect memes of old, new memes, variations on memes and so on. Sure the Dancing Baby is there, as is Hamster Dance. The Pilipino prisoners doing Thriller is there and Mr. T Ate My Balls. You get the idea.

The site is, of course, empty compared to what it will be. Part of that is time, part is staff. The Cow Goes Meme is looking for editors. People who are good at spotting memes before they become big, finding fun variations and people who have the time and dedication to post on a regular basis. If that’s you: mail thecowgoesmeme @ gmail.com and let me know. If that’s a friend of yours who might be interested, have them mail me.

Either way, The Cow Goes Meme is live. It is meme hunting. It is watching you. Tell your friends.

Coming soon (tomorrow, prolly): A new site. A new thing. Oh yes.

For now: Writing more. Sunlight drifts in my desk-side window wondering why I’m not going out in it. No other lights are on. Far down the hallway the fake brass plate around the doorknob shines off a tiny flake of sunlight that reaches it. It makes the doorway glow, like its tempting me to go outside and forget this writing shit. It glows like that constantly. I’ve learned to ignore it, when I have to.

Now come on, we all knew he was a robot, didn’t we?

Sometimes you only realize what you’re writing when you’ve fucked it up.

Anyway that week off from writing I was gonna take? Cancelled. I did math wrong on the novel and will need it to play catch-up. Still, I’d rather do it right than do it rushed.

Anyway! That’s been my Friday. You?

I keep a pair of shoes around that are only for wandering around a block or two before heading home. A pair of shoes you don’t wear socks with, you just slap on and just leave. Then you go somewhere close and come back and kick them off and taa-daa they’ve served their purpose.

So I just purchased a new pair of them.

I call them “diner shoes” because I tend to go to the local diner most often while wearing them. Anyway I found out Converse makes a pair that is just simple black and white and slipper-like. Of course they also make plaid, and bright blue checks and pairs of shoes that I will wear when I am 80 and want to teeter around the block and make sure I don’t lose my feet. Then I will need bright blue checkered shoes. Of course I will.

I got the above. I did not get the below.

Young and old. Young. And. Old. But anyway there you go. That was my big move of the day. Buying a pair of diner shoes.

Christ. Maybe it is time for the blue checkered ones. I mean, when yer big move of the day is a new pair of diner shoes it might just be time to check yourself in and learn to like Jell-O. Shit. I don’t like Jell-O.

There are very few first novels I’ve been looking forward to as much as this one. From the book desc:

Michael McGill is a burned-out private detective who suddenly becomes enlisted by an army of presidential goons to retrieve the Constitution of the United States, but not the one we all know about. This would be the real Constitution (the one with invisible amendments) created by some of the Founding Fathers as a fallback for their great experiment. Along the way, McGill gains a polyamorous sidekick named Trix, gets scared to death by what men do with warm salty water, and descends into a world where crime, sex, and madness all seem to be the same thing.

Go to Amazon, and you can read the first chapter, if you want. I don’t want, I want it to surprise me when I open it.

Sadly I’m still not quite done with The World Without Us, which just gets better and better as I go. But I’m almost done with it and then on to Crooked Little Vein. Woohoo!

——————————————–

So it’s summer which means sales and also means “ARGH! I don’t have enough money!” So I thought I’d help that along and pass on some cool sales Yendi found.

There’s the Random TV sale. It has a bunch of season sets for 40-60% off. So, yes, you can buy a season of Reba for only 18 bucks. Woo?

Then there are the Sooperheroes. JLU seasons for 60% off, Batman animated (the older cooler stuff) for just as cheap! Then it has shit like Beast Wars, and old Speed Racer seasons and the Hellboy animated movie and all sorts of goodness.

Finally there is a sale on A-dolt animation. Hysterical this is both Adult Swim seasons as well as anime. It amuses me to see a Ghost in the Shell box set next to Harvey Birdman next to Inuyasha. Maybe that’s just me.

Anyway. Yeah. It’s that time of year I sit and browse Amazon.

I swear I’ll have something interesting to type later. It’s early yet.