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The Awesome Index

APK | October 5, 2007 | 9:58 am

I introduce you to THE AWESOME INDEX. What is it? Where does it come from? What could it be used for? All these questions will be explained.

You see, my friends, I realized that while some things were awesome, some were more or less awesome than others. I, nay we, needed a way to tell how awesome any given thing was in relation to other things. Otherwise the awesomeness of one thing could drag down the less awesomeosity of another.

This is partly done, then, to help ensure the continued expectations of awesome all around.

I am going to try to post an THE AWESOME INDEX post once a week. Yes, once a week I will delve into a things awesomeness and explain it and rate it on the Index itself.

This first post will be used to discuss the awesomeilitude of the Index itself.

All sorts of things can be rated with it: people, websites, historical events, movies, books, quantum particles, stuffed toys, why just about anything can be rated. However, something must be at least a low on the index to be rated. It has to, at least, blip the index or an item can not be rated. That should be obvious.

Now as an example let us take two fictional characters. Arm-Fall-Off Boy would rate moderate awesomeosity. Between the concept, look and sound-effect for the character we come to an overall field of moderate awesomeness. Matter-Eater Lad, on the other hand, would easily rate very high. Same critical look at the character but we come to a different point. Obviously. And if you don’t understand why I feel bad for you, but school yourself and maybe one day you’ll understand.

As Kirkbride says: Sometimes there must be LESSONS!

Moving on…

THE AWESOME INDEX is not used ironically. It is a scale of truth, rightness and, duh, awesomeness. The Josie and the Pussycats movie is, truthfully extreme in its awesome. That is not ironic. Ironic and sarcastic ratings only serve to degrade the Index and hurt our ability to correctly scope out the awesome contained in something. THE AWESOME INDEX is not a toy. It is not a game. It is a deathly serious concept whose inviolate truth must be respected.

This will open doors for us all. It will shine lights of truth and rightfullosity upon each of our eyes.

So, for our first ever full rating on the Index : THE AWESOME INDEX has an awesome index rating of EXTREME.


Supposedly related posts:
**  Awesome, eh?
**  The Awesome Index – Friday, Oct 12, 2007
**  The Awesome Index – Friday, October 19, 2007
**  Awesome Zen
**  This man is spineless.

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