Hello, Zod.

Betty.

Excuse me?

I’ve been watching Scrubs, sorry, but that Doctor Cox really leaves an impression.

I have no clue what you’re talking about.

I could list all of the things I care less about than your comprehension, I suppose. Let’s see… fat-free cookies, recycling, film remakes that star Claire Danes, film remakes that don’t star Claire Danes, Claire Danes, people who endlessly quote Office Space and think they’re original, salads with wilted lettuce, overcooked steaks, Nod, shoes that light up when you step down, the universe, the time-space continuum, everything else, everything. Oh, and Haim.

Hey!

Shut it, crazy pants.

I don’t know, I never really got into the show.

Then you should kneel, Loretta. You should kneel, in a way that reminds you of the time you decided to go all the way with Billy, your off-putting but strangely hairy boyfriend back in high school. Just break out the knee pads and get ready to look up at the world again.

Ming does not kneel!

Well then let me tell you something, Gloria! Think of what little patience I have as your first puppy. He was a cute rambuncous little tyke, huh? Ran around the yard, hardly ever crapped in your dad’s shoes and if you were really lucky he’d snuggle up with you at night and help you dream of unicorns and big strapping bucks that would steal you away in the night. Seemed like it would go on forever, didn’t it? Until you started to learn how to drive and ran over the little yapping thing while backing out of the drive way. Never could forgive yourself, boo-hoo, it was just so sad, you write about in your dream journal yearly.

I’m just going to take my leave now. You’ve lost it. This isn’t worth fighting over.

Oh, chicken, Shakira?

Who has no mercy and doesn’t give a damn? Ming. Pleased to meet you.

Haim! Get back in here!

Awwww, man.

Yeah, you heard me. Get your ass over here. Now, kneel.