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Adam P. Knave is a freelance writer and editor who has written fiction (CRAZY LITTLE THINGS and STRANGE ANGEL, STAYS CRUNCHY IN MILK), comics (LEGEND OF THE BURRITO BLADE and THINGS WRONG WITH ME and stories appearing in Image's POPGUN anthology) and columns for sites such as thefoonote, TwoHeadedCat and PopCultureShock. He is also one of the editors of Image's POPGUN anthology as well as other comic projects.


Talknig heads – Poor RYB.

Filed Under (talking heads) by APK on 15-11-2007

Kirk, you non-kneeling bastard, you must help me!

Wat? Why should I help you, Zod? Last week you tried to shave me bald!

You mean I tried to remove your toupee to mock you?

Shave me bald!

Listen human! It’s robotic Yul Brynner. He’s in a bad spot.

Should I remove my shirt and go kick some ass?

All right, look. I can break planets in half with my toes. I don’t need you to fight people for me. Not that kind of bad spot. His programs were corrupted.

Oh no, what happened?

H.A.L. and R.Y.B. were playing and they got online and…

Without protection…

Kids. Regardless! I tried to make H.A.L. kneel but he has no knees! NO KNEES!

KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!

Right. So anyway I need to fix Robotic Yul Brynner.

Let’s see him.

Yul?

IT CAN BE DRAW TIEM NOW PLEES?

You see?

Jesus. That ain’t right.

PEW! PEW! PEW!

Uhm, Computer, this is William Shatner. Request security access. Computer, destruct sequence one, code: 1-1-A.

That won’t work, he isn’t the Enterprise!

ROBOTIC YUL BRYNNER IS WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE, HOO-MAN.

Disturbing.

Kneel, Yul! KNEEL!

DO NOT WANT!

KNEEL!

DO NOT WANT!

Both of you shut up. Ok, Robotic Yul Brynner, You were damaged. You need to purge your memory banks and restore from back-up.

O RLY?

Yes, really. Otherwise you won’t get to shoot humans again.

Emergency reload in progress!

Thank you, Shatner.

No problem, Zod, now take him and get the both of you out of here before I decide to load him up with Superman’s memory.

Uncool.

Out.

PEW! PEW! PEW!

Damn it. Come along, R.Y.B.

All right, fleshbag Zod.

Better.

PEW! PEW! PEW!

Related Posts:
**  Talking Heads – RYB and H.A.L.
**  Talking Heads – Poor Ming.
**  Poor Bats
**  Talking Heads – Meanwhile, in the Hall of Justice…
**  Talking heads: the return

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