Merry Christmas, folks. Feldman is off with his family and Shatner is making some phone calls so I decided I should step in, before the whole thing went to hell.

Good call, Haim.

Thanks, Mr. Nimoy. So how do Vulcans celebrate the holidays?

I’m not a Vulcan, son. That is just a role I play. Plus I’m Jewish, so really this is all no never mind to me.

You aren’t an alien?

Of course not. No, I’m an actor. It’s just a role. You aren’t one of the Frog Brothers, right?

YES I AM!

Feldman was right about you.

That isn’t very nice, or full of cheer. Sheesh, you would think even a Vulcan would know about that.

All right, kid, you’re starting to annoy me.

What? What did I do?

One last time, so the cheap seats can hear – I’m human. Spock is just a role I play.

Don’t be sill…

Though I can do the neck pinch. When you wake up, maybe I’ll explain that again. Maybe not. Now! Where did Bill hide the cookies?