Do you have INTERNET’S DISEASE? Use this handy guide to find out!
Are you suffering from:
– Lack of sleep?
– Tired eyes?
– Fibromyalgia that seems to constantly come and go at perfectly timed social moments?
– Very minor arthritis that is minor except when it’s major, or alternatively not there at all?
– Headaches. Ever?
– Restless Leg Syndrome, since you heard about it?
– Migraines that don’t include any of the hallmarks of migraines?
If you answered “yes” to any of these, thought “maybe” in their general vicinity or regretted saying “no” than you may have INTERNET’S DISEASE!
Do you find yourself:
– Begging for attention?
– Using theoretical illnesses as an excuse?
– Hiding from life?
– Reading this post?
If you answered “yes” to any of these, thought the word “maybe” sometime this week or meant to say “no” but didn’t think of it fast enough than you may have INTERNET’S DISEASE!
Act now to get our special informational booklet to find out what you can do if you have INTERNET’S DISEASE! Nothing, really, but that’s not the point! You may have INTERNET’S DISEASE! And that’s for seriously!
INTERNET’S DISEASE is a serious and for reals Type Alpha Disaster Disease Level 1A+, as covered in the “Handy Dandy Field Guide to Medicine and LOLCats”. Please do not take INTERNET’S DISEASE lightly as it may kill you. It may kill you dead, mister. And then where would you be? You’d be dead, that’s where. With no one to blame but yourself. There are children in China who only wish they had free access to INTERNET’S DISEASE, all right? So eat your vegetables and go watch Buffy or something. Fucker.
Use of the information presented here in no way implies that you may or may not have INTERNET’S DISEASE, know what it is or are able to spell it. Simply knowing the phrase INTERNET’S DISEASE may or may not expose you to INTERNET’S DISEASE. It may also make your DVDs stop playing, your dog stop caring and your fresh sautéed spinach to taste just a little funny.
Please do not take INTERNET’S DISEASE lightly. We warned you about that above. Don’t make us turn this informational notice around and do so again. Go outside and play, already. No, not with that. That ball is mine and you can’t use it. No, the other… yes the partly inflated one. Go play with it. In traffic. Go on. It’ll be fine. It’s better than getting INTERNET’S DISEASE.