For years, we have known that D.J. Kirkbride was a fighter of renown. Many feared him, many more respected him. Still, the source of his power remained in the shadows. Some theorized that he drew his power directly from Bea Arthur. Others felt that perhaps he harnessed the raw power of love, and a star, to fuel his mad energies.

However now the truth can be told! At long last we have uncovered the source! The true power source that has kept countless people under Kirkbride’s mighty heel!

The Burrito Blade has passed from smoky legend to cold hard fact. Wielding this mighty artifact from a time long since gone, Kirkbride can enslave thousands if not millions.

Here is what we know about The Burrito Blade:

• Is can slice through anything known to man, leaving only a salsa scent behind.
• Warm to the touch, the blade gives off an alluring level of heat that can save the wielder in times of frost.
• If the wielder loses contact with the blade, it will not return.
• The blade fights better with tortilla chips nearby.
• Once it has bound to a wielder, the blade will cause hunger pangs if it has not been used to spill blood in recent times.

Beware The Burrito Blade! Beware Kirkbride!