All right, let’s say you want to set yourself on fire. Hey, it happens! so you decide you are gonna sit on the floor and light yourself on fire to prove how cool you are. Fine.

Why would you light your crotch?

And when you do light your crotch and your friends decide to help you put your own crotch flames out, how did you think they were going to help?

I give you a very simple animated gif of someone who learned all this the hard way: