This is the BIG ONE folks! The FIFTH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE of the footnote! Holy shiznit! It’s been a blast during the few years I’ve been there, I know that much, and it has brought me a ton of new friendships and opportunities. So Happy Birthday Footnote! You’re five, which in Internet Years is like being old enough to drink! YAY!

So what is in this landmark issue?

• Anti-Thoughts by Mr. Grovemiller: Dustin makes a return engagement to his former job and gets all reflective ‘n’ stuff.
• Letters From Heck by Mister Xalieri: Want a little perspective about the ease of life in Heck? Try a little bit of Hell instead.
• Next Stop Willoughby, the debut contribution of one Mizz Adrienne Jones: Adrienne tells us of a truly horrifying tale from her teenage years. The red menace can totally ruin your social life.
• Pure Lard by Mister Kirkbride: From a distance, you might think that the dark stuff all over D.J.’s face is dirt or magic marker… but hell no! That’s his hair! D.J.’s got some manly, unruly whiskers.
• Reality is What You Make It by Mister Belden: Either modern society is kind of contradictory in its behaviors or John’s a little confused.
• Sight Gags for Radio by well … Mister Me: Adam’s saga of trying to balance his work load versus passing up opportunities.
• Tales of the Working Girl by Mizz Thompson: A holy encounter brings new meaning to the phrase “family game night.”
• Truth of the Matter by Mister Dilbert: Ryan realizes that he might be one of the world’s only remaining Charlie Chaplin fans.
• Transmissions From My Childhood by Mister Grovemiller: For his final installment of the column, Dustin takes a look at The Muppet Show.
• Story Time! by Mister Kirkbride: This piece is called “Sassy Chef’s Dreams and Other Stories.” And that’s all we’re going to say about it.
• Spoiler Warning by Messrs Kirkbride and Grovemiller: Don’t move, dirt bag! Dustin and D.J. have just watched Police Academy and they’re going to tell you all about it.
• Hooray for Comics by Mister Me: Adam P. Knave checks in on those bitches at the Legion of Superheroes.

So yeah. So much good stuff! The Hooray for Comics I am especially proud of and AJ’s piece is grand, Kirkbride made me cackle, Grovemiller did a Transmissions! It’s so packed with goodness this month. And then? I direct your attention to the Very Important Editor’s Note on the right sidebar on the front page. Oh yes! Changes are coming!