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Because I’ve been showing this around all day I might as well post it.

(I am very bad at this sort of thing, I freely admit, but I was inspired by Cindilou Who and Doctors Suess and Who … and well I wrote it anyway …)

On the outskirts of time, in the TARDIS of cool,
In the midst of the crime, with old Zool in the pool,
She came spinning…enjoying time travel’s many joys…
When the Doctor, that Timelord, heard a small noise.

So the Doctor stopped spinning. She landed at the sound.
“That’s funny,” thought the Doctor. “There’s no one around.”
Then she heard it again! Just a very faint yell
As if some tiny Dalek were calling for hell.
“I’ll stop you,” said the Doctor. “But what are you? Where?”
She looked and she scanned. She could see nothing there
The sonic screwdriver sensed nothing moving in the air.

“I say!” murmured The Doctor. “I’ve always heard tell
Of a cabal of Daleks that could bring about hell.
So you know what I think?…Why, I think that they must
Be Daleks on top of that small speck of dust!
Some sort of a lifeform of very small size,
too small to be seen by even a Timelord’s eyes…

“EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” said the dust speck Daleks.
“Our eyes flash red, and our plungers stab true!”
The Doctor thought, unsure of what to do.
And the Daleks, on their dust specks glared upwards and said,
“We’ll exterminate you too!
“You might be the Doctor! The Oncoming Storm!
“But we’ll exterminate you; burn your bones quite warm!”

The Doctor looked nervous, chewed her lip, an answer she sought.
“I might be the Doctor, but I’m not who you thought!”
The Daleks looked up and paused in their plans.
They thought a good think about Who was that woman.
“You’re the Doctor, it doesn’t matter Who!”
They laughed and they jeered and gave her the finger.
“I am the Doctor,” she said, “and my name’s Cindilou!”
“Cindilou Who?!” they exclaimed, fear running true.
“I am the Doctor,” she agreed, “the enemy of, oh, you.”

The Daleks were trounced, that much is true.
And the Doctor went spinning, in her box painted blue.
For most Whos live in Whoville, they dance and they sing.
They have friends, and family – that sort of thing.
But the Doctor is alone, excepting a companion or two.
And sometimes a Grinch and his dog, and Horton, too.

MONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEY!

JESUS!

SATAN!

1 2 3!

Nice shoes! That vest is lame! I like your MUSTACHE!

CAMELCAMELCAMEL!

Do you have any spare quarters? I WOULD LIKE TO SHINE MY SHOES WITH THEM!

DONKEYOCCELOT!

TIRAMISUTIRAMISU!

Have you seen my pants?

I’m sorry I swear this place won’t become all Farscape all the time. But you know, the news is flowing so there ya go.

(via Sci-Fi Wire) Brian Henson, executive producer of the upcoming Farscape “mini-isodes” that will debut on SCI FI.COM’s SCI FI Pulse broadband network, revealed that series co-creator Rockne S. O’Bannon will collaborate with him on the scripts for the revival.

“Rockne and I are back together to work on the beginning of the next generation of Farscape,” Henson told the panel audience attending Comic-Con International in San Diego on July 27.

SCI FI has ordered 10 webisodes of Farscape, to be produced by Brian Henson and Robert Halmi Jr. and produced by The Jim Henson Co., in association with RHI Entertainment.

The series will expand the Farscape universe. Henson was tight-lipped with details. “As for the project, we’re not allowed to actually tell you anything about it,” Henson said. “What we are doing with Farscape is having a lot of fun and in the experimental media of webisodes; it takes Farscape to its next chapter. There’s very little we can say creatively, other than I’m sure there will be characters there that you all know, and I’m sure there will be characters that will be new.”

Henson said that each webisode will run between three and six minutes in length. “We are very excited about it, and, as is tradition, we are very secretive about it,” he said. “But it’s also very early. We only just decided to do this very recently, so it’s still in its creation state.” The Farscape series aired on SCI FI Channel starting in 1999. No premiere date has been set for the upcoming webisodes.

The best thing the last Punisher movie has done for the world is this, right here:

So Ariana linked me to the worst idea ever thought of regarding Farscape. This is hysterical and really seems to have been written by someone who hasn’t actually, you know, seen the show.

Made me laugh with the horrible.

 
 
 
 
In general, though. If you have to ask permission to be hardcore? You will never be hardcore.

And now you know.

On my way down to the bar I stopped to text M and see if she was gonna stop by. She couldn’t, she told me, she had stuff to do. Well, fine, I was heading down anyway. And so I did. Stopped for dinner, as per usual, and got another text from M. She would be showing up, it seemed. Well, all right, cool.

So I hit the bar and M and Moran are sitting and talking.

“I wasn’t going to come until he twisted my arm, via text message,” M said, indicating me.

“Wow, really? That one message? It musta had a hellofa twist.”

“Yeah, just twisted it right off. That one. And I had to stay at work late, and plans didn’t happen and… I blame the text message.”

So we sat around a while and hung out. M had to leave so Moran and I sat around chatting like we do. There are far worse fates. While we’re talking this guy comes in and sits down. Wearing a suit he orders a beer and then takes out a book. He starts to read his book, ignoring the music, and slowly sip at his beer. Halfway through his beer he stands up and leaves. Just … woosh.

I can’t image what happened there. I mean who goes into a jazz club and sits reading a book, in very dim light no less, while drinking a beer? Ignoring the music, and just sipping at a beer that was then left at least half full? So many thinks wrong there.

I told Moran I wanted to chase him down to demand answers but she convinced me that since I didn’t know what the guy looked like, really (he had a blue suit, two arms, two legs, a head, white hair, white guy, between 5′10 and 6′), and he left a good ten minutes before I decided I simply had to know why … well I didn’t chase him down.

I considered going outside and shouting “Strange suit wearing reading half beer drinking man! Come back!” but I didn’t do that either.

There was also a long row of people in town, all together. They were from … Italy I think. And they were simply fascinated by Cosmopolitans. They ordered a few, and I don’t think they knew what they were. They just ordered them. So then they sat, admired, sipped and called Moran over for a conference.

And then they debated what they guessed was in them, with her. “… and cranberry juice,” Moran says at last to a chorus of “Oh!”s and “I knew it”s. You would have thought the cranberry was the easiest part to guess. Oh well.

Later on some other regulars came in and we talked a bunch. Ralph bought me a beer. Nice of him, and I owe him one, but I was having an early night of it. Or planning to. So Ralph buys me a beer, which I can’t refuse to drink once Moran puts it down. So I’m drinking that when this other guy, Mark, sits down and joins in on the conversation. Ralph has to move, after 40 years in the village, so we’re talking neighborhoods and such.

Mark is a recent transplant and has lived in London and Japan and such and is just interested in NY. Yeah. Two natives already bitching about the city … it’s a way to get an earful.

So I tried to leave and Mark tried to buy me a drink. I finally got Moran to not get me that drink, because I simply had to go. I still had some stuff to do, and sadly, it means I had to turn down a free drink.

Sucks, but that’s life.

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Art by Mike Mitchell