So what’d you do for July 4th?

You know – had a beer, had a girl, blew some shit up.

So you didn’t once stop and celebrate America? The freedoms you have, the choices, the spirit of this country?

In a way, I suppose that I did.

In a way.

In a way, yes. I had spirits. That girl, man she was all sorts of free. Rowr. Face it, Tiger, I hit the jackpot.

When did you get like this? You used to be so…

Square? Like you?

Hey now, no need to get insulting.

I met a girl.

Mary Whatsits?

No, even better.

Hey, Cap. Hi lover.

Hi sexy.

You’re dating Jem?

Hells yeah.

Mmmm he’s all spider-powered.

Won’t Batman, I mean didn’t they have… isn’t this…

Oh, Batman is just too dark, all the time. He’s all for making out, but only at night, in a cave, with the lights off.

Whereas I can wine and dine the ladies.

Yeeeah. Ever hung upside down from a ceiling while…

I don’t want to hear this. I just hope Batman isn’t upset.

Why would I be upset? My parents are still dead. What will add to that? What?

Nothing, long-ears. Just that Jem and I are hooking up.

Jem? You’re with him now? No, I don’t think so. Come here and make out with me.

I won’t. Damn it, Batboy, you’re too grim.

My parents? Have I mentioned? KILLED!

Still, you don’t have to be such a stick in the mud. I mean how embarrassed were you when…

Shut up.

I mean…

Don’t go there.

Oh no, go there.

Well, we wee making out. And he got…

Shut it, sister.

…an erection and was so embarrassed!

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Shut up. Your suit is spandex, you freak. Mine is armor. It hurt.

Just… making it… funnier…

Shut the hell up, insect kid.

Oh come on, it was funny.

It wasn’t.

It is.

You shut up, too.

Come on. I’ll use the Bat-Boner! Ow! That hurts! Hahaha!

I hate all of you.

Awww, come on, Batty, chill out. We’re just finding the lighter side of a bad situation.

A bad situation?

You.

Ha!

hehehehe!

I made Captain America giggle!

Well cone, citizen!

Well, we should run.

Whole lot of freaky to deak.

Whole lot!

See you, you kooky kids!

Stay. Make out with me. Damn, they left. Captain…

I won’t make out with you. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Please, God, don’t tell me.

I hate you all.