Talking Heads: Zod and Ming
APK | August 25, 2008 | 9:11 am
I think I need a new wife. For an hour or so.
You are, truly, merciless.
It wasn’t always so, you know. Why, when I was a child–
You were Ming The Dangerously Precocious?
Ass.
Psycho.
What is wrong with wanting a new wife to not bore you every few hours?
It isn’t the killing I mind–
Certainly not.
It’s more that I don’t understand how you can disrespect the sanctity of a marriage like that.
Excuse me?
Not to go soft on you, all wives must kneel–
*snicker*
Well. Yes. But also in supplication. I just mean that one should love them, treat them as equals. Lesser equals, certainly, but still equals.
Wives are like anyone else who is not me: Not worth my time for very long. I am the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, after all.
No, you aren’t.
Yes! I am!
A football player, a hoo-man football player, defeated you. With “advanced offensive maneuvers,” if I remember the footage.
It wasn’t like that! Propaganda! Besides you were defeated by–
Superman. Which, though he is the son of my sworn enemy, you have to admit. – going down because of Superman has some cachè to it.
Funny man with a cape in his pajamas.
Hoo-man football player! They don’t even play the game with their feet! And he defeated you!
Be careful, Zod. I am without mercy, true, but I am also low on patience.
You’re an old man in a really tall collar. I am invulnerable and have heat-vision, super-strength, super-hearing and a lot of other powers that are hyphenates of the word SUPER!
Super-loser.
FOOTBALL! PLAYER!
You wear a garbage bag.
Baldie.
I’ll send my robots after you.
I’ll tell Nod that you’re hiding his favorite toy. In your spleen.
I really need a new wife for an hour or two.
Yeah you do. Cranky bitch.
Oh … shut up!
Fine.
Fine.
It isn’t really a garbage bag, is it?
Yeah. Yeah it is. I’m sorry.
Fuck. Guy who sold it to me convinced me it would be all the fashion rage on Krypton. At least he’s dead.
True enough.
Damn. I need a suit.
Maybe a high collar?
No.
But–
No.
