Why are you guys carrying picket signs?

Don’t you know what today is?

Stupid fleshbag!

Jeez, Shatner, how could you forget?

Lemme see those signs. What? So what if it’s International Talk Like A Pirate Day?

So what? DRAW!

No, Robotic Yul Brynner, leave the foolish one alone. He doesn’t understand our pain, our outcast nature, the way society itself tosses us to the curb like so much used transistor.

So I can shoot him.

No. We should leave him alone.

Why are you winking? No! Correction, why are you HERE?

Well, isn’t it obvious?

Good fuck no.

Stupid meatbag. Why should these PIRATES get all the glory? Where is Talk Like A Robot Day? Where is that? Why do we get shunned? Where is Talk Like A Ninja Day? No, only Pirates get this love! And it is more fleshy lies and evil!

Wait, ok so you and Robotic Yul Brynner are robots, sure. But Hoff? Man, Hoff what are you…

‘M a ninja.

Oh for fuck’s sake. How are you a ninja?

I’m sneaky, for one. I am also a master in several deadly fighting skills and I own a black jumpsuit and I know a guy who can sell me some smoke bombs.

You are the least ninja person I know. H.A.L.! You gotta know he’s full of it.

Perhaps, fake-haired one—

Hey now!

Perhaps he is, perhaps not.

Hello? I am!

But do you know of another ninja then? Someone who would be better suited for our protests?

Well, what about … no he isn’t a ninja. Uhm. Batman?

We asked.

And?

He told us that it wasn’t My Parents Are Dead Day so we should go. I told him to DRAW!

Which is when he kicked me. In the eye!

What else is there, with you?

Shut up, meaty fool.

DRAW! DRAW!

So when I heard them, I told them I was a ninja.

But you aren’t.

I AM A NINJA!

You’re, at best, a lifeguard.

LIFENINJA!

Now you’re just shouting words.

Shut it, Shatner! Don’t make me ninja you to death, OR BEYOND!

Beyond?

Shut up, old man.

All right, that does it!

H.A.L., why does the fake-haired one remove his shirt?

Because he is about to go to town on the other meat-pastry.

Ha you think you can — urk!

Yeah. I fucking thought so. Ninja. As if. All right you two, now about this protest…

We demand Talk Like A Robot Day and Talk Like A Ninja Day.

Robots just beep and boop. Otherwise they talk like … well … us. And ninja don’t talk! They’re silent! Talk Like A Ninja Day might as well be Talk Like A Mime Day!

I…

DRAW! You are wrong! DRAW! DRAW!

Shirt is still off, you think you got what it takes, son?

No more! Cease this fighting! Perhaps you are correct, fleshy old man.

Look, if we had Talk Like A Robot Day you would end up with assholes posting “0101000101010110011″ to their blogs and thinking they were witty. And then you know what you would do?

Desire killing?

Desire killing. This way is better. Think of all the people that get annoyed at pirates today, just because of what people endlessly do in their name.

It is true…

So we can not shoot him?

No. He is correct! We will go now. We will go, and plan!

Plan! Yes!

Plan for what?

Later, of course.

Later! AH. HA. HA. HA. Yes!

Right. What’s later?

Gilmore Girls marathon.

Hooray!

… what?

Robotic Yul Brynner enjoys the Lorelai.

Uhm. All right. And you?

I enjoy nothing! Fleshbag, you should be going now.

A Rory man, then?

I will not listen to your prattle!

H.A.L. often quotes Rory, yes. When fleshbags are not present.

What? You lie!

I do not.

Which of us own season 3 on DVD? You or me?

You.

And therefore?

H.A.L. does not enjoy fleshbag entertainment.

But he owns season 3 of Gilmore Girls?

…shit.

Yeah. Anyway. I’m out. When Hoff walks up tell him it was fun.

No.

Hokay, don’t. Enjoy the show.

We will not! We do not watch stupid fleshba—

I’ll lend ya season 4.

… thank you Fleshbag Shatner. We will discuss terms later.

You will give us DVDs or you will DRAW!

Or something, I’m sure. Anyway! Peace out, dawgs.

Out with the peace!

Word to your fleshbag mother.