So this is a real conversation that took place in IM.

APK: You should become a life coach

D.J.: Haha… whaaaah?

APK: Like people would pay you and you could tell them what do! MINIONS THAT PAY YOU! …isn’t that how it… I think that’s how it works.

D.J.: But… I do not know how to win at life. How could I help others?

APK: Dude “Get more different colored pegs in the car bit.”

D.J.: Whaaa…?

APK: You know, when you play Life? That’s a good way to win.

D.J.: Ah, haha… I’ve never played it. I don’t think. Weird.

APK: Funky. I used to play with an accident rule. If you move your car too fast cause you’re all “I wanna get to the good square”? You might drive off the road and have an accident. Then we tip your car and if a peg falls out that family member dies.

D.J.: Whoa. Hardcore!

APK: Mostly it was ’cause it was funnier if there was death on the line

D.J.: That’s a fact.

APK: And my status on Facebook: “Adam needs to remember that when the mountain doesn’t come to you – punch the mountain in the dick”

D.J.: Haha! Nice. Sound advice. I think you should be the life coach.

APK: Naw. My advice would just always be like “Get out there and play, slugger!” “But… coach! That’s TRAFFIC!” “G’wan, slugger.”

D.J.: Hahahaha!