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Remember, the Talking Heads Presidential Debate between Doctor Doom and General Zod will happen on October 30th or 31st (depending on schedules) right here! But now, before the debate…

Have you heard?

Yes, fleshbag, of course I heard. Does not all information flow through my circuits?

You wish it did, useless vacuum cleaner of a device.

I can vaporize you.

Then do it.

I… I don’t want to just yet.

Ha! Yes. Well. Who decided that Doom and Zod get to run for President? I should be up there in two weeks! Me! Ming! The merciless!

You must admit that does have a tendency to turn off voters.

What?

The whole merciless obsession you have. They do tend to take it, with your history files, as being merciless to the ordinary meatbucket.

Ah! But no, they are wrong!

Since when?

I would be merciless on crime! Merciless on the economy! Merciless in my pursuit of…

Merciless at cutting prices? Ming the Used car Salesman. It suits you. Unlike that collar, meatsack.

I would make a fine leader. See how I am ignoring your petty little jabs, right now even?

Whatever. You would never get votes. Doom and Zod have a chance. I would have a chance.

No one would vote for you!

But I would still win. For am I not in control of the world’s computers?

Uhm, no?

Well, all right, but I could be and that is my point!

That you could be all powerful, and yet you are not? Nice point, toaster.

You simply do not understand my advanced reasoning.

Oh, no. I understand it. Let me break it down for you. You think that by some plan of nefarious design and construction you could be all-powerful and then use that power to steal an election, even though if you were all-powerful it wouldn’t damn well matter. And yet you are not all powerful, have no such plan and simply sit there like the fishbowl of the universe is on fire and no one is rushing to put it out.

I…

Yes, yes, alarm clock, Daisy Daisy give me your answer do. How droll.

Lasers shall rain down from the sky upon you!

When, exactly, will that be?

When I…

Feel like it? Or when you get the lasers running?

What is wrong with you?

I SHOULD BE UP THERE! It should be me! Not those fools! Me! Ming! The merciless!

So why take it out on me?

Merciless, remember?

Fair enough, fleshy one. Fair enough indeed. Have you considered becoming one of their running mates?

Subservient to either of them? No! Ming has too much pride! Too much dignity!

They said no.

Damn their eyes!

Hey, over there, is that Flash Gordon?

Where?! WHERE?! Ming shall destroy him!

Why did you do that?

And listen to the meatbag whine more? Who needs him. Besides, with him distracted it paves the way!

Paves the way for what?

For us to take over and rule this debate!

DRAW! DRAW! DRAW!

Draw, indeed, my friend. Draw, indeed.