So last night. I love politics with a passion. However I had an old great friend to meet for dinner and The Shield to tape (and watch tonight) and no internet at home. So things looked bleak. Which is when my homies came out for me.

Laszlo and Ariana spent all night texting me results as they came in, keeping me up to date and in touch. Greg, whom I hadn’t seen in about ten years and love dearly, and I had some dinner and drinks and it felt like very little time had passed while at the same time whole millennia had. But we still grooved the way we used to. I spent a summer (into winter) at his place when he was in Baltimore a decade ago. It was magical getting back to that place.

But through it all my phone would go off and I would update Greg.

Now, before that, before I even left, I called Time Warner. Cat killed my internets, I got a new modem and TW told me it would be 24-48 hours before they bothered to turn it up. So I called in hopes that I could see if they had done it yet. They not only hadn’t – they now told me “at least 72 hours” which is about when I lost my shit. Actual moments include:

Me: All right, I know this isn’t your fault but I need to speak to a complaints dept or something just to put on record how uncool this all is.

Rep: Who would you like to speak to?

Me: … the Complaints Dept?

Rep: Yes, but who?

Me: Bob! All right?! Do you have a BOB that works there? I’ll talk to Bob! What the hell!

—————

Me: So, you see my problem. I didn’t know that if I didn’t get a modem from you it would cost me days upon days of outage.

Supervisor: Well the information is on our website.

Me: And with no modem, at home, Sunday night, how was I… Telepathy? If I could do that I wouldn’t need your service.

Sup: Well…

—————

Me: So since this request has to go to IT can I talk to them?

Sup: they don’t have phones.

Me: Uhm. Bull. So can I talk to them?

Sup: They only work 9-5.

Me: Riiight. So when will this be back?

Sup: Oh, soon. I’ll expedite it but this is the time it takes…

—————

So anyway I went to go meet Greg for dinner and got all my txt updates and Christ that was interesting. And then I went home. Well Shield was taping so I couldn’t use my TV and I had no internet so I was in my apartment getting txt msgs and cursing a bit. At 11:15 I knew I could turn the TV to some news and watch but it was about 10:30 then and ARGH, you know?

Which is when my phone rang.

Me: Yellow!

Rep: Hi this is Lou from Time Warner!

Me: Ok…

Rep: I’m calling to verify your new modem’s MAC address so I can turn up your service.

Me: At 10:30 at night?

Rep: We don’t want to…

Me: Huh. It’s just interesting.

Rep: We’re VERY SORRY we made you wait this long.

Me: Not you personally, it’s all good.

Rep: We didn’t want to inconvenience you…

Me: Right. Here’s the MAC addy. So…

Rep: I’ll wait on the phone while your service is restored!

Me: Wait. So this is a two second process, so why did I…

Rep: They told me to make this happen very fast.

Me: Ha!

Rep: Who ARE you?

Me: The guy who has INTERNET! BOOYAH!

Rep: Uhhh…

Me: Thank you, Time Warnery person! Your name shall be honored. What’s your name?

Rep: Lou?

Me: Well Lou! Yes! YOU! You have made a difference! Now scram, I gotta catch me up on some news!

Rep: Thank you for using… *CLICK*

—————

So then I got my internets humming and soon turned on the TV about 60 seconds before everyone called it for Obama.

So I scared Time Warner a bit. I have internets. I had a great dinner with a great friend. I have a new President-Elect (well we all do)… not bad for a Tuesday night.