Welcome to Adam P. Knave dot com

For your handy reference at any party you may be at tonight I found (but did not make) this handy venn diagram that will show you all of the woes or benefits of mixing various types of booze together. Hope it helps.

S.J. Tucker fucking rocks. Please keep that in mind. She’s an amazing songwriter and singer and well … one of the best humans I have known. I don’t say that shit lightly. I don’t get to spend time with her much these days but I think about her often. You know those people who are just full of life and are always willing to share it? That’s S.J.

She recently spent some time in the hospital and may need to go back. And that’s sad. No doubt. But where it gets ugly is that S.J. is a full-time touring musician. Guess how much health care she has?

Right.

So she’s looking at something on the order of a 25k hospital bill. Which is, mind you, a very bad thing. So she’s trying, with the help of her friends and loved ones, to raise the money. Oh sure if you want to just send money you can, but money is tight all over and everyone knows that. So instead you should get something for your money.

You can get all of her music at deep DEEP discount here, and also help her raise the money she needs. Think of it! You get some great music and you help someone out!

Also, on LiveJournal, there is a community (http://community.livejournal.com/saveours00j/) that is full of things on auction, with all the money to go toward S.J.’s medical bills. There’s stuff like jewelry there and way more (win the use of your name as a main character in a novel written by, like, a famous author (Catherynne Valente) for christ’s sake!)

So if you have some holiday money, or you love new music or you just want to help someone out – here’s a way to do it.

And aww hell, why not. If you go and buy my short story collection CRAZY LITTLE THINGS any time this month I will donate all of my royalties for the period to S.J. as well. I am trying to get that upped to include all proceeds, but I can’t make that promise just yet (it involves someone else saying yes), but … eh, I’ll cover it if he says no. So there ya go. ALL PROCEEDS from the sale of that book for the month of January (and the last few days of December) go right to S.J.

Help her out, ok?

Int. Elsop’s Pub, night
The pub is filled, bursting with life. People gather and drink and carry on, as per usual for a Saturday night. No one has noticed the old wooden enclosed bar phone booth in the corner. It’s always been there, hasn’t it?

Out of the booth steps a man. He is THE BASTARD. He strides forward, full of purpose and sits at an empty table. A waitress comes by.

Waitress: What’ll it be then?

The Bastard: A tour of every bar ever. What do you say? And get me a damned drink. Scotch.

Waitress: I’ll be back … uhh … with your drink.

The waitress goes off, muttering, and comes back with a scotch, neat.

The Bastard: So how about it?
Read the rest of this entry »

This might be my favorite spam that I have gotten in a while. Read it. It tries so gloriously hard!

From: fbi@fbi.gov
To: undisclosed-recipients: ;
Subject: FBI TRANSACTION APPROVAL NOTICE

Federal Bureau of Investigation
FBI Seattle Division
1110 Third Avenue
Seattle, Washington 98101-2904

Payment Code: R5109176K
Reg No: 132731593
Date: December 27, 2008

Date: December 27, 2008

FBI TRANSACTION APPROVAL NOTICE:

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has discovered through our intelligence Monitoring Network that you eligible to receive the sum of $2,000,000.00 USD from the National Lottery Program.

Therefore, the FBI Seattle Division in conjunction with the United States Department of Homeland Security (DHS), Has screened through our various Monitoring Networks and has been confirmed and notified that the transaction you have with Spring Bank Plc is Legal and you have the Lawful Right to claim your due fund. We advise you to go ahead with the transaction as we are monitoring all their services and networks. Be advised that any letter or claims notification received from anybody or company should be forwarded to us with immediate effect.

Meanwhile, you are advised to follow the procedure of Spring Bank Plc. They have their own legal procedure which we have examined and confirmed legal. Follow their instructions while you keep us updated for more details. You are advised to contact the necessary office for more details of transfer as we are monitoring every move now.

Please, be advised and be aware that your funds had been insured and the necessary charges would be taken care of by you, as confirmed by the Monitoring network. For your own good you are advised to confirm any transaction or lottery promo you have either involved yourself with in the past to enable us trace this scammers. Only Spring Bank Plc has been confirmed Legal any other are still under investigation, and so many others are scam, most especially from Nigeria and Africa.

Please contact the Head of Operations Dr. Malcolm Edey, Spring Bank Plc.

Dr. Malcolm Edey (Head of Operations)
International Remittance Department
Head Office: Plot 143, Ahmadu Bello Way, Victoria Island, Lagos 23401
Nigeria.

What if I told you that not only will Burrito Blade launch on January 12, 2009 but that I will have a second webcomic launching on February 10, 2009? And I will post about it on a Saturday between Xmas and New Years so no one will notice this.

Burrito Blade will run every M/W/F/, the other one will run every T/Th.

More soon.

Some people have vanity plates that proclaim their interests to the world. I wonder…

NEW YORK (AP) — A family friend says Eartha Kitt, a sultry singer, dancer and actress who rose from South Carolina cotton fields to become an international symbol of elegance and sensuality, has died. She was 81.

Andrew Freedman says Kitt died Thursday of colon cancer and was recently treated at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York.

Holy shit, Batman! Someone made the best fake trailer ever! Granted, it’s for Thundercats, but damn! Live action, using digitally altered footage from Pitch Black, Troy, Farscape, X-Men and more (there’s some Stargate and Last Crusade in there for instance) this thing is just really fucking well done.

He says he did this frame by frame in Photoshop. Jesus. Anyway! Thundercats starring Vin Diesel, Brad Pitt, Gigi Edgely and then some: