I would prove that I was as real as any real boy. I would. I got up late that night, struggling to find my way in the darkness, and found the harness where I had left it. Wedged deep between cast-off boxes, the leather and wooden contraption managed to look both discarded, which let it stay unnoticed, and gleamingly poised for use, which made my chest shudder with delight.

I stepped into it, slowly, savoring each second, careful not to tangle myself. Creakingly, I worked my way from the workshop into the hall. I would be the realest of the real boys. I would. Nothing would stop me now.

I crawled up the side of the bed, careful of my new appendage. He snored, blissfully unaware of my presence. Unaware, as always, the old fool. He talked of care, of love, but he didn’t mean it, not really. No. I knew better. But he would. Oh, he would. Giuseppe would learn to respect and love me. The thick wooden strap-on around my waist guaranteed it. I…

Oh, snap! Sorry guys, wrong entry. I was distracted. Still sick you know. So uhm, yeah. Sorry about that. But still, into every life some Pinocchio/Giuseppe porn must fall. Wait, that can’t be right, can it? I don’t know.

I’m here but really spaced out. Like wheeee lookit me, I’m on a cloud and I’m flying! YAAAAAAAAAAAY! Except not so much with the yay. I kinda feel like I’ve been punched in the face by life. No, not the face. I feel kinda like Giuseppe up there will in a few more paragraphs. Fucked in the Ass by a Marionette. It’s the sister show to Touched by an Angel.

I’m in a mood.

My favorite Things Wrong With Me is up today. I know it is only Episode 2, but this is one I wrote a long, long time ago and have been waiting to push for ages. So even if you don’t read the comic normally, go check this one out. For me.

Also there is a Thai movie called Fireball. You know the normal story – guy has a friend/family member in the hospital and they need an expensive operation. So the guy has to go and play handball / rap / surf and win some prize to end happily. Except in this? The [thing done] is Muay Thai Basketball, full contact, weapons allowed. And then there are all the parkour scenes. So here’s the trailer: