Someone mentioned, over the weekend, a cupcake with icing inside it. I was aghast. I mean I think I am missing something here. I like cupcakes, sure. I like icing on them, this too is true. But there is a balance that, I feel, is seriously fucked with if you start shooting icing into the intestines of the cupcake like a junkie.

It’s like pizza with cheese in the crust. When I eat a slice I want a slice. And when I get to the crust I want to eat some crust. I do not want a reject mozzarella stick thing that was appended to my pizza, destroying the goodness of a bit of crust and adding yet more cheese to the whole affair.

Yes the cheese, or the icing, is a great thing and we all love it. But when you keep adding more and more and more and more and more and more of it you lose what made everything so good in the first place. I like cupcakes. The cake part. And when I want to eat that cake-y goodness I don’t want to have to have half of it turn out to be even more icing. Fuck! Get a room with your icing needs! Just buy a tub of icing and a spoon and be done with it. The same for the pizza. Buy a bunch of string cheese, melt it and shove it in your pants, you love it that much.

But really too much of a good thing can something be … too much of a good thing. So please, I ask of you world, leave your icing on the top of the cupcake and cheese on the top of the pizza and lets all remain sane and calm in these obviously troubled times.