A lot of people use scales to place their feelings or whatever on a firm place so that they can relate them to other such objects. Many people use a scale of 1 to 10. I hereby propose a new scale: A Scale of One to Jem. Provided below is the scale:
A Scale of One to Jem
Jem – Everything is outrageous. Truly, truly outrageous.
Kimber – Things are so outrageous! Just not truly outrageous.
Aja – Awww yeah. Riffin’ a kick-ass solo and rocking the spandex. Life’s sweet.
Shana – Day’s a bit brighter, yo. Hell, things are good.
Raya – Hey, it isn’t all sunshine but you can probably see how it might be, someday.
Stormer – It’s all good. Shut up. Whatever, man.
Roxy – Yeah, stuff is mostly all right, but you know, world kinda sucks.
Pizzaz – The only reason things aren’t worse is probably because some rich relative is paying to fix the damage, but take that away and RUT ROH, REORGE!
Jetta – Well at least things haven’t gone to “Eric” but man they ain’t far off.
Eric – Dude, everything sucks and is awful.
And as a bonus, since this is a musical group, sometimes you have to turn it up to 11:
Synergy – Dude, holograms, headbands and knee boots. \m/

Eisner and Harvey award winning editor, writer and tired person. Novelist, comic writer, cat owner, NY'er.



No joke, the first sticker ever to grace my first guitar case was of Jem and her Synergy earring.
Outrageous.
Truly so.