Ok so wait. Alien civilizations want to wipe us out and Superman’s whole plan is “Give them a cupcake”? Where’s the “throw them in the sun” plan when we actually need it? I mean come on! Hostess cupcakes?

“Earth has never done anything good!”
“Sure they have! Hostess cupcakes!”

You know what I do then? I blow up the planet. Fuck! Superman could’ve at least been like “Oh yeah, bitches? Try some bacon.” and then we would’ve been saved. But no, the corporate shill that he is fucked us all over. Now we’re gonna die in a blazing death ray from aliens.

Because of Superman.