*Except it totally isn’t true at all.**

**Except the really awesome parts, those are totally true.

So this morning as I was coming into the dayjob I heard a noise. Well I was listening to music on my headphones, so you would think that was the noise I meant. You’d be wrong. No, this noise was loud enough to be heard over my music. Still nothing looked wrong so kept walking.

A little while later, just a few steps really, and tripped over someone’s foot. You’d think I’d be better about watching for that sort of thing. But it was early, you know? Anyway, so yeah, tripped over this foot and looked down.

As an aside, ever notice when you trip over someone’s foot you can always tell you tripped over a foot before you even look to tell? Tripping over feet is unlike tripping over anything else. I wonder why. But back to the story.

So I look down. The foot is in a pink, sparkly boot. Now I know some people who would wear such a boot so I thought maybe it was one of them. None of them, however, live in the same town as me so that would have been really odd. Uhm, but yeah, it wasn’t them.

No it was this woman who looked like Jem! For seriously. She had the make-up, the costume, the works. I was shocked. I mean how many people cosplay as Homeless Jem? I will admit that this could be the killer costume for Halloween but it isn’t Halloween yet, so I tossed that idea right out.

“Hey, you gonna help a lady up?” she asked, while I was busy contemplating her outfit.

“Oh, uhhh, sure,” I gave her one last look over as I reached out to give her a hand. “So you’re a big Jem fan, huh?”

“What?” She laughed at me, distinctly at me. “No, you fool, I AM Jem!”

Now it was my turn to laugh. I mean I’ll believe all sorts of things (the power of 80s music to cure illnesses, Cher and Madonna are secretly the same robot with different skinsuits, bears, Jesus came back as the Dunkin Donuts guy (“time to make the donuts” was an allusion to saving your soul) but we all missed it and doomed ourselves to Hell – to name a few) but I refused to believe that some cartoon character had come to life, ended up in New York and was currently homeless.

I told her as much, leaving out the other things I believed in, because there was no point in making a scene, and started to walk away. Except them, as I walked away, that noise happened again. That really loud noise! And then music started to play!

Startled, I turned around! It was Jem and the Holograms! And they played an awesome song that kicked off a musical montage all about how Jem had ended up homeless on the streets of New York, got an addicting to crack and was counting on me to defeat the Misfits and send her back to a safe life as a cartoon icon.

But I was, I mean come on, I was gonna be late for work. And yet it was Jem. So yeah I went with them to their cartoon land and defeated the Misfits and then we all came back and had an awesome breakfast and got Jem into rehab and Kimber totally hit on me and Synergy was all “You should stay with us,” but I was like “No, awesome guys, I must away to my own world, where I will save the world with the power of awesomeness!”

And they all cried a bit, and hey I’m not too proud and I can admit I cried a little bit myself. Because holy shit it was awesome. But they sent me back here and I realized that almost no time had passed! So I ran for the train but missed it, because, well, some time had passed.

Which is why I was late for work today.