The Cool Kids

I keep hearing about “The Cool Kids” as if they’re some sort of mystical ProgRock band playing a sixteen minute kazoo solo that everyone, strangely, wants to listen to. And let’s be honest, they want to listen to that solo because they think it’s what they’re supposed to do. No one wants that solo. No one.

All right. Maybe Focus would want to hear it. I mean…

But outside of them, no.

Now, to be fair, there are two types of Cool Kids. First up there are the ones who tell you how cool they are, why they are cool and how you aren’t as cool as them. They, of course, are not actually the Cool Kids at all. But they fake it well, and many people buy into it. Wait, what, why? Well, people want to be cool!

So what else do you have out there in the spectrum, before we get to the second type of Cool Kid?

Well we have those cats who are so overly eager to please that you kind of want to strap them down and close the door behind you. You know the ones I mean. The folks who are just so happy to talk to you, want to know how you are, act like they’re you’re best friend even though you just started talking to them and hardly know them, the ones who assume that Everyone! Loves! An! Excited! Person! Who! Is! Glad! To! See! Them! And they, of course, do it all out of fear. Fear that they won’t be liked otherwise, that no one will care about them and that maybe, if they are cheery and insist they are a close friend often enough it will be true and they can stop trying. It never works out that way, but they keep trying.

Then you have the kids who smack everything down and are utterly negative about everything and everyone. Really, they do it for exactly the same reason as the overly cheery, friendly folks – raw fear. Fear they won’t be liked and since they won’t be liked no matter what they might as well tell everyone where to shove it. They don’t need to be liked, fuck you! Right. They don’t need to be liked so bad that they lash out before you can even decide if you like them. Sure, all right.

Finally you have the second type of Cool Kid. These are the people who understand the big truth:

It’s true. It really is. What some people peg as “cool” is just people who have nothing much to prove, don’t bother sweating the littler things and are all right with being themselves and they can laugh at themselves. That’s it, that’s the whole secret.

And it makes all the difference in the world, frankly. So the next time you think about those Cool Kids, stop and work out the following:

What do you have to prove to anyone? Seriously, what is in you that you need to somehow try and convince everyone else of it that badly?

Why do silly things get under your skin so badly – what is that? Why can’t you let them go? Someone will always be annoying on the internet, for example. Proving them each wrong is futile, impossible and annoying even. Breathe. Life goes on.

Plus why aren’t you all right with being you? We all need to improve who we are, that’s part of being alive. We all have bad sides, imperfections, strange issues – yup. Everyone does. So, given that, what’s so special and bothersome about your issues that you can’t cope with other people knowing about them? Is it shame? Aww, come on. We all have issues. Seriously.

Finally, make sure you can laugh at yourself. Because man, humans are funny. All of us. In so many ways. No one is above being a joke, on a given day. It’s all good.

So stop worrying about being cool, and who is and isn’t cool. Because no one gives a shit, anyway. We’re all human. We’re all flawed. We’re all here. And maybe if we stopped trying so hard all the time we could live a little better and get a little further.

I’d like to think so, at least.