So I had this idea. An idea that took root and wouldn’t let go. I needed to rewrite Pulp Fiction as Pulp Fourth World but not just a scene or two. No, I had to rewrite the entire fucking script. I tried to get Jeff Lester to stop me. He told me to “don’t not do it” and so I thought about it even more. Rewriting the script. The whole thing. Now, this will take time. And I won’t rush it. But I finished the first scene and thought I would share that. It could be months before this project is done. Months. But sometimes I will post scenes here as previews… Such as this one:
INT. COFFEE SHOP – MORNING A normal Sleez's, Denny's-like coffee shop in Apokolips. It's about 9:00 in the morning, though as always, there is no sun. While the place isn't jammed, there's a healthy number of lowlies drinking sludge coffee, munching on parademon-bacon and eating eggs. Two of these people are SCOTT FREE and BARDA. Scott Free has a slight working-class American carnival accent and, like his fellow carnies, chews straw like it's going out of style. It is impossible to tell where the BARDA is from or how old she is; everything she does contradicts something she did, she may be from New Genesis or Apokolips, she could have been a Fury or a Farmhand. Though her stature certainly leans toward Fury, let's be honest.. Scott and Barda sit in a booth. Their dialogue is to be said in a rapid pace "HIS GIRL FRIDAY" fashion. SCOTT FREE No, forget it, it's too risky. I'm through doin' that shit. Oberon would shit. BARDA You always say that, the same thing every time: never again, I'm through, too dangerous, Oberon needs diapers. SCOTT FREE I know that's what I always say. I'm always right too, but – BARDA – but you forget about it in a day or two - SCOTT FREE – yeah, well, the days of me forgittin' are over, and the days of me rememberin' have just begun. Even I got limits. BARDA When you go on like this, you know what you sound like? SCOTT FREE I sound like a sensible fucking man, is what I sound like, for once. BARDA You sound like Granny. (imitates Granny Goodness) Safe, safe, safe, no feelings, safe, safe, safe... SCOTT FREE Well take heart, 'cause you're never gonna hafta hear it again. Because since I'm never gonna do it again, you're never gonna hafta hear me go on about how I'm never gonna do it again. BARDA After tonight. The Scott and Bardal laugh, their laughter putting a pause in there, back and forth. SCOTT FREE (with a smile) Correct. I got all tonight to escape, and to help these fools do the same. A WAITRESS comes by with a pot of sludge coffee. WAITRESS Can I get anybody anymore sludge? BARDA Oh yes, thank you. The Waitress pours Barda's coffee. Scott Free chews his straw thoughtfully. SCOTT FREE I'm doin' fine. The Waitress leaves. Barda pours a ton of cream and sugar into her coffee. Scott Free goes right back into it. SCOTT FREE I mean the way it is now, you're takin' the same fuckin' risk as when you're tied in chains and about to be hit by a train. You take more of a risk. Trains are easier! Trains just keep coming. No surprises with a train. Why should there be? The conductor just goes full steam. You don't even need a Megarod for a train. Just a lockpick and a bit of time. I heard about this guy, tied himself to the tracks with a buncha chains and some laser security, right in front of a train. Had a normal paperclip up his nose, is all he had. BARDA Did it work? SCOTT FREE Fuckin' A it worked, that's what I'm talkin' about! Knucklehead ties himself down in front a train with a paperclip up his nose, not even lockpicks and gets out of it, despite laser beams everywhere. BARDA Did he destroy the train? SCOTT FREE I don't know. There probably never was a train – the point of the story isn't the train. The point of the story is he escaped the chains and lasers with a paperclip. BARDA You wanna escape trains? SCOTT FREE I'm not sayin' I wanna escape more trains, I'm just illustrating that if we did, it would be easier than what we been doin'. BARDA So you don't want to be n escape artist? SCOTT FREE Naw, all those guys are goin' down the same road, either dead or boring. I've escaped, you know? BARDA And no more shark tanks? SCOTT FREE What have we been talking about? Yeah, no more shark tanks. Besides, it ain't the giggle it usta be. Too many friendly sharks. They're all "Hey, buddy, wanna play?" You tell 'em "You're a fucking shark not a dolphin and they don't know what you mean. They make it too personal. We keep on, one of those shark motherfuckers' gonna make us kill 'em. BARDA I'm not gonna kill anybody, today. SCOTT FREE I don't wanna kill anybody either. But they'll probably put us in a situation where it's us of them. And if it's not the sharks, it's these old train operators who've ridden for fifteen fuckin' generations. Ya got Grandpa Irving sittin' in the caboose with a fuckin' Magnum. Worried you'll dent his train with your chains Fuck it, forget it, we're out of it. BARDA Well, what else is there, day jobs? SCOTT FREE (laughing) Not this life. BARDA Well what then? He calls to the Waitress. SCOTT FREE Slimeball! Sludge coffee! Then looks to his girl. SCOTT FREE Let's liberate this place. The Waitress comes by, pouring him some more. WAITRESS (snotty) "Slimeball" means Parademon. She splits. BARDA Here? It's a coffee shop. SCOTT FREE What's wrong with that? People never liberate restaurants, why not? Factories, processing plants, malls, you can't enter one without someone trying to liberate the hell out of you. Restaurants, on the other hand, you catch with their pants down. They're not expecting to get freedom, or not as expecting. BARDA (taking to idea) I bet in places like this you could cut down on the slave factor. SCOTT FREE Correct. Just like trains, these places are insured. The managers don't give a fuck, they're just tryin' to get ya out the door before you start convert too much staff. Waitresses, forget it, they ain't takin' revolution for the nothing. Busboys, some lowlie gettin' paid a dollar fifty a hour gonna really give a fuck you're converting' from Darkseid. Customers are sittin' there with food in their mouths, they don't know what's goin' on. One minute they're havin' a slime omelet, next minute somebody's educatin' them on freedom. Barda visibly takes in the idea. Scott Free continues in a low voice. SCOTT FREE See, I got the idea last rally event we did up. 'Member all those hunger dogs kept comin' in? BARDA Yeah. SCOTT FREE Then you got the idea to give everybody money and tools. BARDA Uh-huh. SCOTT FREE That was a good idea. BARDA Thanks. SCOTT FREE We made converted more because of the money than we did the rally. BARDA Yes we did. SCOTT FREE A lot of people go to restaurants. BARDA A lot of money to be spread. SCOTT FREE Pretty smart, huh? Barda scans the restaurant with this new information. She sees all the HUNGER DOGS eating, lost in conversations. The tired WAITRESS, taking orders. The BUSBOYS going through the motions, collecting dishes. The MANAGER complaining to the COOK about something. A smiles breaks out on BARDA's face. BARDA Pretty smart. (into it) I'm ready, let's go, right here, right now. SCOTT FREE Remember, same as before, you're crowd control, I handle the employees. BARDA Got it. Barda takes out a Megarod and Scott takes out a Motherbox, they set both on the table. He looks at her and she back at him. BARDA I love you, Scott. SCOTT FREE I love you, Barda. And with that, Barda and Scott grab their weapons, stand up and liberate the restaurant. Scott's revolution persona is that of the in-control professional. Barda's is that of the psychopathic, hair-triggered, loose cannon. SCOTT FREE (yelling to all) Everybody be cool this is a revolution! BARDA Any of you fuckin' pricks refuse to listen and I'll blast every one of you motherfuckers! Got that? CUT TO: CREDIT SEQUENCE: "PULP FOURTH WORLD"