You might not download a car. But me?

You, of course, know that anti-piracy ad that includes the great sentence You wouldn’t download a car. In case you missed it here’s a grab of the actual text:

And of course you would. You would so download a car if you could. So I started thinking, because I know I would download the fuck out of a car, well… I started thinking exactly how much I wanted to download a car. So I made a list!

• I would not only download a car, I would download a car that had a computer in it so that I could download more cars from my downloaded car.
• I would download a car that downloaded your mom, and then drive that car, to your mom’s.
• I would download a car so hard that it would break and I would have to download spare parts and a mechanic to fix it. And I would download both the spare parts and the mechanic, make no mistake.
• The mechanic would be your mom.
• I would download a car and then put that car on bit torrent so that I could upload the car to other people.
• Your mom would be in the car.
• I would download a car so much that I wouldn’t remember to make a “your mom” joke about it.
• I would download your car into my car and then download that into another car and call it Voltron, get sued by the owners of Voltron (World Events Productions and Toei Animation) and then download them cars to make up for it.
• I would download a DeLorean, drive it at 88 m.p.h. and use it to go back in time to when I started to download the car and then change history so I downloaded a different car, just to see what happened.
• I would download a car and bust ghosts with it, simply because both downloading cars and bustin’ make me feel good.
• I would download a car and then give it to Link, because it’s dangerous out there, so he should take it.

Basically – I would so fucking download a car it isn’t even funny. Truth.