So I had an idea recently. It started with offering bad names for a friend’s soon-to-be-born child. She suggested I get my own. But then she said “buy” and I thought about it and came up with a better plan:
I would like to buy a Canadian.
Why a Canadian instead of a baby? Look at the facts!
Now, the Canadian I buy must also be willing to pretend to be an extra cat, as I am not sure about the legality or buying a Canadian, really, and also my landlord might mind. We could be zoned for no Canadians. So, yeah. Pretend to be the cat. This isn’t some creepy cat costume thing. It’s just, you know, should the authorities show up, it should go down like this:
Cop: Hey! Is that a Canadian?
Me: No, Officer. That’s my other cat.
Canadian: *lies down on floor, sleeps*
Cop: Looks an awful lot like a Canadian.
Me: Had to pay lot for such a rare cat breed, I tell you that, sir.
Canadian: *claws the couch*
Cop: Hmmm, well, I suppose… Canadians would be hard pressed to claw couches, after all.
Me: That they would, Officer, That. They. Would.
So, the cat thing is a must. Also, please note:
So, yes. Looking to buy a Canadian. Shouldn’t be too hard.