Lasers. Spines.

There I was, looking at a website, nothing out of the ordinary at all. And I clicked on a link and a new page loaded and there, in the corner, was an ad:

Blah blah blah, back pain, scam, send us money, neck hurts, pain in my ass maybe, who cares, whatever, go fuck yourse… Did you say laser spine?

They wanted me to visit laser spine. Laser. Spine. A spine made out of lasers. A spine that shot lasers. I didn’t know. I ran through a list of possible ideas, each better than the last.

Somewhere around the point where I had decided it was, obviously, referring to a porcupine that would work on your back with all of it’s spines made of tiny lasers like acupressure, I realized I simply could not have read that shit right, at all.

Nope. Read it right. Laser spine. Now I knew I could click, or type the URL in and go visit the sight and see for myself but I also knew that would take the fun out of it.

Because let’s face it – It wouldn’t be anything cool. It’d be, like, some shitty doctor service that got a mail order degree in doctoring and owns a laser pointer. By going I gave up on the imagination. The coolness that came with laser spine.

Laser Spineitude.

Laser Spineosity.

And I didn’t want to give it up yet. I just didn’t. Because:

I still won’t go to their site. But I will still dream about what it could be.

By Adam P. Knave

Adam P. Knave wrote this, but you knew that, since this is his site. That's kinda how it works.

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