X is to Y as H is to [blank]

I was thinking about this the other day so I thought maybe I should put it down here. This is the part where I annoy people.

Seattle is Queens. I’ve been there. It’s Queens. It doesn’t really think it’s Manhattan, but also knows it has its own shit going on. It has culture and stuff and people and some good bars. People in Seattle know they are in Seattle. And that’s a good and fine thing by them, as it should be.

Portland, on the other hand, is Brooklyn. I mean, come on that shit is too easy. It’s Brooklyn with a hint of Boston tossed in for good and bad measure. But part of being Brooklyn is, of course, that it is proud of not being Queens and certain that it is, in fact, better than Manhattan.

The only problem here is – where’s Manhattan then? I mean if Seattle is Queens and Portland is Brooklyn then Manhattan is… Vancouver? It might just be.

I wonder if anyone told Vancouver. Chances are, if I’m right, they not only know they also couldn’t give less of a fuck. In public. In private, at home when the blinds are drawn though – oh they know where they’re at.

Please note: This math may make Tacoma the Bronx. Which only makes me want to visit Tacoma and see if I’m right. Because that would be wonderful beyond words.

By Adam P. Knave

Adam P. Knave wrote this, but you knew that, since this is his site. That's kinda how it works.

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