We all know, of course, about the slow loris:
Yes, the Slow Loris, ticklish little creature that is the star of many a YouTube video, despite being poisonous. Whatever.
Today I am proud to introduce you to the world’s only super hero loris. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
Look at him blur across the forest in an effort to stop crime and take a nap! Yes, folks, it’s Fast Loris!
* Faster than a slow loris!
* More Ticklish than a slow loris!
* Able to nap in more buildings than a slow loris!
Yes, it’s Fast Loris, champion of Earth and a hero to the people!
He’s a loris! And he isn’t slow! He’s: