Let’s talk for a second about the backbone of the internet. No, not cats, but rather porn. I mean after all the internet is for porn, or so we’re told. So let’s talk about it.

Except not about porn. Let’s talk about the people who star in porn. They are, first and foremost – people. I know, that can, it would seem, be confusing. But I sort of understand why.

When you watch porn you aren’t watching people, not really. you’re watching abstracts, objects, that exist to make your hot and bothered. If you think about them as people, while you watch, you might stop and wonder about their backgrounds, worry about the plot, all sorts of distracting things. Porn is, generally speaking, made to focus laser tight on one specific thing – getting the viewer off.

Which means that they are right to reduce the people in the films to objects. It’s easier. It’s purer. Now, can you do porn where it isn’t a parade of objectified humanity – well of course you can. You can do porn that has complex plots and is a whole different thing than what the majority of it is. Totally. But we’re talking about the current majority of it, and this is how it is.

Now, you watch those folks star in porn and then you use the internet for that other thing – social times. And the two intersect for you, on occasion. Because the people who star in your fave porn are also on facebook, or twitter, or linkedin (man, linkedin, ha!) and you can run into them.

That is when it is crucial to remember they are people not objects. you can not interact with people who work in porn as if they are… well… fuck bots waiting to be Porn-O-Sized in conversation with you. they’re people, just like you. Hell, they’re probably more polite than you – if you’re being that asshole treating them like they aren’t even human.

It’s a job. Remember that. They do a job. They are not their job. Nor are you.

Don’t dismiss them, or demand things from them or insult them or degrade them by treating them with anything less than the respect you would like to be treated with. I have friends who work in porn. They’re, you know, people. Exactly like everyone else.

The mere fact I feel the need to say that illustrates the problem.

So please, enjoy your porn! Tell the porn actors you see on twitter, etc. that you enjoy their work. Then talk to them as humans, not as naked fleshbags who only exist to fuck in your mind.

And then we can talk about fixing porn, in general, to make it more human and less fuckbot. Except for FuckBotPorn, which would be around as a genre, because of course it would.

As a final side note, something I’ve seen happen a few times now: People treating porn actors like shit because they star in porn and are therefore horrible horrible people for making porn. that the people yelling at them watch. Misplaced bullshit guilt and shame, anyone? Come the hell on.

If you watch porn, admit it and get over it. It’s ok. No one cares.

It’s fine. Breathe. You’ll be all right. I promise.

Just stop hating yourself for it and taking it out on others.