So this is all true and how my experience with LinkedIn has gone, up through today.
Used LinkedIn today. Don’t know why or what it is for. Seems to mostly be for using LinkedIn so other people can use LinkedIn to use LinkedIn and to add me so we all use LinkedIn. The recursion is potentially dangerous.
Got another request today from someone. Still unclear as to why.
Forgot I had a LinkedIn account until yet another person asked me to verify I knew them. Why does telling this specific website that yes, I knew this person, improve anyone’s day? Were they unsure if I would admit to knowing them, before this? I am now suspicious of everyone I know who ends up in LinkedIn. Including myself. What are our motives here? What is the end game?
If I keep using LinkedIn someone will love me. No! No! Must resist the horror! Every time I get a request I have to try and find my password for the site. Still have no idea why it exists. These people, once considered my friends, now go into a new list, a new category, by simply sending me these requests. They become The Other to me. The strange person who, I have to assume, has a use for LinkedIn. Why won’t they speak of it? Why am I being excluded? What have I done? What can I do? How much longer must I be… alone?
Day 514 June 6th, 2012
LinkedIn was hacked. They told me I should change my password. I have used this as an excuse to escape. I have marked my account to be deleted and now they can not control me anymore! I am free!
June 8th, 2012
Huh. Got new mail from LinkedIn telling me what my so-called friends were up to. Must take a day to work out of the system. Or two. That’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. I’m all right. I’m free.
June 16th, 2012
New mail from LinkedIn. That’s not right. I was free! Damn it! I was free! Well, fine. I’ll go tell them to stop. I can unsubscribe. I must just be stuck on a list. Wait, what? This says my account is “Restricted.” No, there should be no account. I deleted it. But it won’t let me unsub from the list because I can’t log in to verify my account. Because I deleted it. No. This is not right in any way.
June 23rd, 2012
Well. Still getting mail. I’ll be polite and mail support about it. “I have requested an account deletion, and yet am listed as Restricted and am stuck on a mailing list. Could you please assist me with ensuring my account is wiped and I get no more mail? Thanks!” That’ll do it.
June 29th, 2012
Just got a new request from LinkedIn by someone who found my account. Still haven’t heard back. This isn’t right. Not at all. Let me go, LinkedIn! I will not make any deals with you. I’ve resigned. I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own. I resign.
July 8th, 2012
Contacted support again. Nicely. Against my better judgment. Did it after I got another email from them and ran into the same Restricted Account nonsense trying to get away from them. Am now half-convinced LinkedIn will never let me go. Once Linked, always Linked. True purpose of site revealed: Drive humans crazy.
June 24th, 2012
Was a while without mail, and no contact from support. Considered matter quietly dealt with. Was wrong. Two mails and a request today from LinkedIn. Contacted support again. Sent the following: “I asked you to delete my account. Instead I still get mail from you guys and it says my account is restricted so that I can’t even shut the mails off. CAN YOU FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK DELETE MY FUCKING ACCOUNT?” Have developed Pavlovian twitch when I see new mail from LinkedIn. Want to cry, or punch beautiful things in order to ruin them, as I feel ruined by LinkedIn. I await response but am not hopeful. Soon, I will die here, alone. LinkedIn despite myself. And my soul shall crumble and the walls of Jericho shall… No! I will persevere! I will be strong! I… will… be one with the Linked and my deliver unto them my soul. I will… No! No! Not yet, Lord! Not! Yet!