Get up. Water the mulch. Go inside. Work. Water the mulch.

Growing up in NY I never had a lawn or yard or anything like that. So when I moved to Portland and saw that the lawns at the house were basically only weeds, a few scraps of grass clinging on, I sighed. I wanted to try having a real lawn, once in my life.

So I found a great landscaper and they came by and took the place back to zero. Kept the trees and all just ditched the lawns and reseeded, covering it in mulch and all that.

Except. Well.

It’s a bright tan lawn now until the grass grows in. If it grows in. I don’t know, will it? Well it needs watering, of course. Twice a day until the grass comes in a bit, on days it doesn’t rain. So, of course, this week is rain-free.

Now there is a sprinkler system but it’s broken. Who cares, there are also hoses. However this means that for last few days and into next week (when it starts raining again) my schedule includes the following:

Get up 20 minutes early. Stumble into some jeans and good boots and grab a jacket and gloves and hat (it’s 35 in the morning still, see…) and go out and water the lawn. Try to wake up while doing this so I don’t water a bird sleeping in a tree (happened once already) by mistake, or water the neighbor’s lawn (happened once already) by mistake, and generally try to just water the mulch-covered lawns.

Too much water? Not enough? Who knows. I’m guessing here.

Then come back in, change again, and sit down to work. After work – go out and water the lawn again. Luckily by then I am awake enough to not forget and water my own feet (yup), or the side of the house (mm-hmm) and just water the damned mulch-covered lawn.

During this process I have found it is also advisable to stare intently at the mulch-covered lawn and convince myself there is some green there. Some grass trying to grow. Because I am totally, 100%, convinced it will not grow and this is just my life now.

Get up. Water the mulch. Go inside. Work. Water the mulch.

Get up. Water the mulch. Go inside. Work. Water the mulch.

Get up. Water the mulch. Go inside. Work. Water the mulch.

There had better be a lawn, after all this. That’s all I’m sayin’.

By Adam P. Knave

Adam P. Knave wrote this, but you knew that, since this is his site. That's kinda how it works.

Comments (1)

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.