An NYCWTF excerpt

This is a true story. It actually comes from my book NYCWTF which is all 100% true stories. But I was just thinking about this one so I am posting it here, as well. Go buy the book and make my publisher think it was a marketing strategy.

My doorbell rang. I wondered who was ringing my bell around 2 a.m., decided it had to be a drunk, and so I ignored it. Then it rang again. Well, fine, if you want me to answer the door I guess I can tell a drunk to go away. I looked through the peephole and there was a woman who did not look especially drunk. So I opened the door.

“Can I help you?”

“You like movie?”

“Excuse me? No, what, huh, not interested, thanks.”

“I have movie not made yet. I can show.”

“Excuse me?”

“I have DVD!”

“Right, I don’t care.”

“Movie not made yet.”

“Now look, you do not have DVDs of movies not even made yet, think about that!”

“I do! You want? Is cheap?”

“No, this is insane!”

“Is good movies…”

“Let’s say, for a second, that I was willing to consider this. What movies do you have, then, that haven’t even been made and yet you have on DVD?”

“Is good time movie.”

“Porn from the future? Deal’s off. Have a good night. It’s late! Stop ringing bells!”

“Not sexy no no. Good time.”

“Good Times … the movie? From the future? It’s 2 a.m.! I am not… I’m sorry, Ma’am, no thank you, have a nice night.”

And then I closed the door. Of course, now I have this nagging, Marty McFly feeling that someone will make a Good Times: The Movie and I will have needed to see it before it happens to help prevent some catastrophe.

By Adam P. Knave

Adam P. Knave wrote this, but you knew that, since this is his site. That's kinda how it works.

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