idea file

Random story idea

Random story idea that I know I’ll never get to. Started off with the story and then I got the title in my head and winced. It might feel like this all leads up to a joke title but honestly, the construction was the other way around and I think the story itself could be a lot of fun. So I put it all here for you to enjoy. So, you know, enjoy: ————— Michael and Lauren were the best of friends. They’d grown up together and managed to remain friends through puberty, high school and college. Now, they’ve graduated and are out in the world, looking for their place in it. Michael has ideas of being an artist, but also seems to make a good short order cook. Lauren has a knack for fixing cars, and wants to own…

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SPY MOUNTIES!

I think the Canadian’s need a spy agency. Like SPY MOUNTIES! I would write SPY MOUNTIES! It could star super-sleuth Agent Double-Oh I’m Sorry and his partner, master of the Canadian martial art Considerate Kick-Boxing Agent Aboot, Eh whose penchant for thick wool caps makes her the envy of everyone. They could solve such harrowing, nail-biting crimes as: The Case of the Tim Horton’s That Wasn’t Open 24/7 The Case of that One Rude Guy The Case of the Vaguely Creepy Baby …and more! SPY MOUNTIES! The show you can watch with the whole family as men and women in big hats and thick coats solve crimes and avoid the occasional moose.

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Canadian purchase

So I had an idea recently. It started with offering bad names for a friend’s soon-to-be-born child. She suggested I get my own. But then she said “buy” and I thought about it and came up with a better plan: I would like to buy a Canadian. Why a Canadian instead of a baby? Look at the facts! CANADIANS: Know from decent beer. Come with vouchers for free health care. Also come with a raffle ticket and chance to win a free Zamboni. Enjoy hockey. Still dislike Quebec. Know who Don Cherry is. Fear the power of Don Cherry’s jackets. BABIES: Yell all the time. Poop and pee all over. When they aren’t spitting up. Can’t buy me a beer. Or discuss a good book. Or do much of anything because they’re BABIES. Can discuss Don Cherry, though, oddly enough….

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A crack appears.

For a little while now I have been thinking of working on what I’ve been calling a post-Kirby novel. A book so large that the destruction of universe would only be the start. Something epic in scope and scale that could house all of the ideas and building blocks I’ve been fascinated by since forever. I won’t actually be writing it for many months yet, but the opening just popped into my head and I thought I would share it. Please keep in mind this is very first draft and rough. I’m sharing it because I can and because I feel like it, but it probably bears only a decent resemblance to what the finished product will be. That being said – enjoy: Across all of time and space a crack appeared. Colors beyond comprehension strobed across creation. Everywhere and…

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McKenzie, P.I.

Found an idea for a new series I want to see on TV. Yes, on the one hand, it’s another P.I. show. On the other hand it’s way better. He’s taking back the streets, and taking matters into his own hands, and taking his time. He’s taking things. Because he’s a kleptomaniac. McKenzie, P.I. – Pocketing justice Nothing ends up in the evidence room, except the truth.

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Hmph the Cat

Hmph the Cat There are cats, you see, and then there are cats. Hmph is neither of those. Hmph is one of oh lord those cats. The sort of cat that doesn’t just look at you, he judges you. Every second of every day he judges and finds you unworthy. Unworthy of what, he isn’t telling yet. But it’s probably bad. Hmph has no use for you. Sure, having thumbs and making good human furniture keeps you alive, for now, because Hmph has decided to out-source such things to the human race. But let’s not get big headed about it. There is Hmph and then there is everything else in the universe. As long as you remember what order those things come in, it’ll be fine. Living with Hmph is not always easy. Generally though, since the failure is yours…

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Twitter broke the news?

Last night the whole Osama bin Laden news broke. All across Twitter the news was being reported. Get this: They happened to be right. However, calling it the “future of news” is a scary concept because when you look at what actually happened you start to see a troubling pattern. The NYT Blog had a solid bit dissecting exactly how the news got to Twitter. All right, it went like this: The President says he is going to give an address at 10:30PM EST. (He ended up not speaking until well after 11) Twitter starts to make jokes and guesses. This is what Twitter is good at. Keith Urbahn, Rumsfeld’s Chief of Staff tweets: “So I’m told by a reputable person they have killed Osama Bin Laden. Hot damn.” and follows it quickly with “Don’t know if it’s true, but…

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The Doctor Who MMORPG

There was a press release recently about a Doctor Who MMORPG. It said, in part: “Robert Nashak, EVP Digital Entertainment at BBC Worldwide says, “Doctor Who: Worlds in Time will be a free-to-play multiplayer online game that invites players to save the universe by using their wits to solve time-bending puzzles and pulse-pounding challenges. Three Rings is the ideal team for this groundbreaking creative partnership. Not only are they visionaries in the online gaming space, they are lifelong Doctor Who fans with a passion for delivering the level of quality that our players will expect and deserve.”” And so, all right that might be fun but when I first heard about it I thought about what I would do with a Doctor Who MMORPG. I mean there’s, right now, only one Time Lord, so players can’t be one of those….

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INTRODUCING: Pastries not Pasties

While on Twitter the other day, two good friends, Jett and Fantastica, and I were joking around and the idea “Pastries not pasties” came up. Which, of course, led me to a place where we could make this a clothing line. It wasn’t an easy process, and the line has just started so this first round may not be as robust as you would like. But give us time. Pastries Not Pasties is here to stay. Kinda. And while we’re here we will be ever expanding and growing and finding new ways to wear baked goods. For this first round we had some trouble finding a willing model, but eventually we did. I can’t reveal her name but it rhymes with Blarbie. Now, while she was willing to model for us in some very risqué clothing, we did agree to…

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Nineteen Eighty-Hare

I leaned heavily against a wall. Trying to catch my breath was a mistake but I couldn’t keep running. I just couldn’t. “BIG RABBIT IS, WE SAY IS, SON ARE YOU LISTENING, BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU” was painted along the wall. How they found space for the lettering I don’t know. I found the strength to keep moving. The thing of it was, I didn’t have the heat on me. No one was after me and I could’ve just gone back home. But after what I saw that night, after that, I just couldn’t. I found what they did to Porky. Poor bastard. Technically they took him to ask a few questions. Technically he had decided to move to another city. Technically… a lot of things. This night someone had left me a key to a door I didn’t…

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