What was that? You wanted someone to make a video with Transformers dancing to Thirller? You sure about that? Well, if you insist… here you go:
Archive for mash-ups
Friday!
After Dean Trippe did his Friday / Fantastic Four parody (which you can see here, and it is spectacular) I felt I had to step in and offer a contribution.
He may be the fastest man alive, but this is a choice that’s frozen him still! Only Rebecca Black can help him now! What will the Flash choose? Find out on… FRIDAY!
A Curious George
Poor George. He was curious one too many times. He was curious all the way too Gotham. That was possibly his last mistake. Now the Man in the Yellow Cape is dead and George is all alone.
He’s the monkey Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not our monkey. He’s a curious little annoyance. A trouble maker. A Curious George.
(art not by me, just found it)
Legion of Super-Heroes: Turn Off the Sun Eater
I recently had the pleasure of seeing the new musical taking the city by storm. That’s right, folks, I got in to see a preview of Turn Off the Sun Eater!
Now, despite what you may have heard, this isn’t a bad production. We open on Earth, outside of the Legion HQ, where Tenzil Kem is coming back after a long absence. He’s humming to himself and the music slowly grows until it is recognizable as the recent radio hit and anthem:
I Am the Very Model of a Future Teenage Legionnaire
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Awesome = this picture!
I want to play this game. I want to watch this movie. I want to read it as a comic. And then I want to start over with the game’s sequel. Yes, this is simply epic.
I also bet Vader can Force lift a whole buncha pigs… just sayin’…
Great TV shows that never were
The year: 1982
The place: New York
The women: Determined.
Mary Beth Lacey was a working mother and NYPD officer, working in the 14th (Midtown South). She won’t take lip from anyone, and doesn’t need help to solve crimes.
Or so she thinks.
But when Mary Beth runs into a case so high profile that no one can even grasp how high the strands go, her supervisor, Lt. Bert Samuels, steps in with a plan. A new partner that no one will expect. A partner that no one will see coming. A partner, in truth, openly out for only herself. Dagny Taggart, railroad heiress.
Now the two must work together, each toward their own goals, and yet having each other’s backs, in the mix with the scum on the streets!
In the pursuit of justice, or money, you don’t want to get in these women’s way! They might not see eye to eye, but they can both see down the barrel of a gun! Brace yourself for:
Legend of Zelda 1987
This is now my fave fake trailer of all time. All time! What would happen if you took Zelda and make a trailer for a live action film about the game – in 1987? Take a bunch of John Hughes movies, at least one Karate Kid scene, Zelda and stir well. Until you get this:
Romeo and Juggalette
I realized there was a take on Shakespeare I had yet to see. And so I had to fix that problem myself. With that in mind, I bring you: Romeo and Juggalette!
Romeo: But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juggalette is the clown.
Arise, fair clown, and kill the envious mime.
Juggalette: O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
I can not see you, Your position is a mystery to me;
But how does that work? It is verily a fucking miracle,
I can not dance to ICP if true!
Romeo: I take thee at thy word:
Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized;
Henceforth I never will be Romeo.
Juggalette: But then who shall you be?
How will I know my love, if he is with another name?
Such mysteries! Such plight! My heart can not withstand.
Romeo: Poor, fair, Juggalette!
Be not concerned for thou my name dost change;
My heart is still as pure. I am still thy stalwart Romeo!
By any name.
Juggalette: No, now you wait a second Boo. If you go changing your name then you ain’t Romeo, is you? No, I don’t think so. Then you’re, like, Bill or someshit, and fuck if I know how that all fuckin’ works ’cause like you need new ID an’ shit and… aww hells I don’t even know! I don’t know! It’s like, how could you stop being you? What’s that even mean? It’s a fuckin’ miracle of something, I know that. Ain’t no science. Naw.
Romeo: My sweet, my one Juggalette,
How doth your speech render?
How like a fallen bird, dead amongst the leaves!
Have you partaken of the spirits?
Juggalette: I gots me some Faygo, bitch, if that’s what you mean. No, I’m outs this shit sucks. Just… naw. Get lost, Slow-me-down.
Romeo: …
Juggalette: S’What I thought, Iambic Pentameter BITCH-ASS! Shit, your stuff didn’t hit meter even back when I was tryin’! Your ass is so a Montague. Anyway, lates.
END ACT ONE
And pray to God there isn’t an Act Two.
Crichton the Human
So thanks to a random discussion on Twitter I ended up writing Crichton the Human, a reworking of Charlie the Unicorn for Farscape fans. The plan is to get this recorded and eventually dubbed over the original animation. We’ll see if it happens and where it goes. Expect updates as and if they happen. In the meanwhile, though, I don’t wanna let this just sit so here’s the script for it! Enjoy!
SCORPIUS: Hey, Crichton. Hey Crichton wake up.
HARVEY: Yeah Crichton. We want pizza and margarita shooters, wake up.
CRICHTON: {Groans} Oh God you guys. This better be pretty frellin’ important. Is Moya on fire?
SCORPIUS: No Crichton. We want you to find a map, to Wormhole Mountain, Wormhole Mountain Crichton.
HARVEY: Yeah, Crichton, we want to go to Wormhole Mountain. Come with us Crichton.
SCORPIUS: Yeah Crichton, it’ll be an adventure. We’re going on an adventure Crichton.
CRICHTON: Yeah, Wormhole Mountain, right. I’m just gonna, you know, go back to sleep now.
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Nineteen Eighty-Hare
I leaned heavily against a wall. Trying to catch my breath was a mistake but I couldn’t keep running. I just couldn’t. “BIG RABBIT IS, WE SAY IS, SON ARE YOU LISTENING, BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU” was painted along the wall. How they found space for the lettering I don’t know.
I found the strength to keep moving.
The thing of it was, I didn’t have the heat on me. No one was after me and I could’ve just gone back home. But after what I saw that night, after that, I just couldn’t. I found what they did to Porky. Poor bastard.
Technically they took him to ask a few questions. Technically he had decided to move to another city. Technically… a lot of things. This night someone had left me a key to a door I didn’t know existed, and it was there I found him. Well, films of him, anyway.
Stripped naked in a cage of rats, he squirmed and squealed like, well, to be fair, a pig. I’m not sure why I was given the key, the directions, shown what I was shown but I had a feeling…
For weeks now I kept a journal. A journal of my thoughts and dreams. Stuff that I wasn’t supposed to have, much less think. It must have been found. So I ran. I ran though no one actively seemed to pursue me. I ran to find my love. Marvin. Oh, how his helmet shined in the light. He wasn’t from around here, as it turned out. Despite what we were told. He said the wars were fake. He said he loved me. He said we’d be safe.
Damn it, I couldn’t break down in tears. Not yet. Not until…
Our front door was open. Just the tiniest bit but enough to notice. I went in anyway, what else could I do? Inside I found nothing. They had taken him. I knew I would be next. I had earned it. I looked behind me and saw that I was being followed. Followed by my own weaknesses this whole time.
They came for me then. They re-educated me. They reminded me that duck season is rabbit season, thinking you saw a puddy tat is seeing a puddy tat, and that freedom is slavery.
In the end, I walked out, on my own. On. My. Own. As we all were. Monsters like me, Gossamer, we don’t meet interesting people. Not if we’re smart.
Eisner and Harvey award winning editor, writer and tired person. Novelist, comic writer, cat owner, NY'er.
