movies

X-Men Days of Future Past

So I went to go see X-Men Days of Future Past today and I had some… feelings about it. Then I thought – I could share them! And so I will do just that. But with that sort of discussion comes spoilers – so be warned and proceed at your own risk! All right, anyway, let’s talk about this film. I have yet to see an X-Men film I truly loved. I dig the comics, always have, but the films leave me kinda baffled in so many ways and this one is no different.

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Wonder Woman: The Movie

A while back I got asked to contribute to an article full of people with ideas of how to do a Wonder Woman movie. The article didn’t happen though so I thought “Well why not just post it here?” so I am. Here’s the Wonder Woman movie I would write: A Wonder Woman movie should be the simplest thing around. She’s a character who strives for peace, and is also the greatest warrior the world has ever known. Her own internal struggle to reconcile that, and to help all of humanity toward peace, through strength and compassion, is a huge host of interesting information just waiting to be explored. Then you add in Greek mythology, a mythology that not only a number of recent blockbusters have found themselves digging into again, but a mythology that has survived and thrived in…

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My Problems With Star Wars

Recently I got gifted the complete Star Wars on blu-ray. I’ve always had a strange relationship with Star Wars films. Empire Strikes Back is to blame for Scooby-Doo being ruined for me*. For example. But overall I think they can be a lot of silly fun. Except… The first movie is kinda shit. Now here’s the thing – I never saw it in the theater so watching it all fancy and high def like that was amazing. It looked wonderful – with a few exceptions. Most of those were the newer added scene, which still don’t visually fit and throw you off-kilter. Also the mattes… look I know this was done when they were inventing the technology being used and I forgive the special effects for looking like they were done, well, exactly when they were done. That’s no problem….

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Godzilla and his personal life as shown through film.

Then there was this: Why don’t the Godzilla movies ever focus on his home life? His art? His charity work with underprivileged children? — Paul Tobin (@PaulTobin) May 14, 2013 To which I answer: Haven’t you seen Godzilla vs. Monster Zero (also known as Invasion of Astro-Monster)? Because that’s what it is – in allegory. Let me explain. In the movie, humans go to Planet X where they hear all sorts of stuff but mostly they see Ghidorah attack. The people of planet X want the humans to grab them some Godzilla and Rodan to help with their Ghidorah problem. Except it turns out the people of Planet X can control the beasts and then threaten Earth and then stuff goes nutty and eventually Godzilla and Rodan fight Ghidorah and it looks like Ghidorah wins and … hey this film…

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Ä TÄLË ÖF MËTÄL ËÄRTH

Gaändylf the Rocking came down and knocked on the door. Bustling noises could be heard inside and Gaändylf waited, if impatiently. His fingers twisted and flexed, a kickass air guitar solo formed, with his wizardly ways of rock. The door opened, at last, for keeping a Wizard of Rock waiting could be dangerous indeed. Bilbö looked up at his visitor, his old friend who sported a long flowing gray beard, forked down the middle, and eyebrows that came out over the brim of his hat. “Bilbö,” Gaändylf said, “it is good you are home. I have in mind an adventure for you.” “An adventure?” Bilbö exclaimed, patting down all of his pockets, “I haven’t even had Headbanger’s Ball lunch yet!” “Never mind that,” Gaändylf harrumphed impatiently, “let me in so that I can tell you of my idea.” “Very well,”…

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Posers.

I’ve seen a bunch of anger toward “posers” recently and I don’t get it. There are people getting mad because people are pretending to like something only because it is cool to like it, but they don’t really like it or get it. And that’s… bad? How – that’s my problem – how is it bad? If you like something you want it to do well, to succeed and thrive. More people spending money on it, talking about it, drawing focus to it bring that all home. They make the thing you love better funded and better accepted. They widen its base and spread it around. But they don’t really like it, and so that’s bad. Because the thing you like getting bigger is a horrible idea. If you like something, if you truly enjoy it and want it to…

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So pretty!

So many reviews of the new Batman movie keep pinging their surprise that Anne Hathaway can act by mentioning she’s pretty. Because Christian Bale and Tom Hardy are fucking eyesores. Oh, wait, no, they’re just guys so their ability to act isn’t hurt by “being so gosh durn purdy.” It’s a wee bit sickening. So I wrote up a few reviews that go the other way. Blade Runner While watching Blade Runner this evening I was truly hit by the strong, engaging performances of Sean Young and newcomer Daryl Hannah. They worked tightly in the movie’s atmosphere and drove the plot along, each f them showing us surprising depth of character for what could have been a simple SF movie. Harrison Ford’s chiseled jaw and shining eyes brought a sparkle to the proceedings as well, and he managed to also…

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Pop Culture Is Dead

Please note: This was originally supposed to the be the end of the show I just did. So it’s a bit way long when written out and may be a bit rambly. I’ve edited it down some and tried to make sure it seems focused but you’ve been warned… I was talking about Saved by the Bell the other day. And well, thinking about it really brings something home for me. First of all, we really need to stop making live-action TV shows with minors, because there has never been a cast, I think, on earth, that was not horribly scarred by this. Neil Patrick Harris survived. We can maybe call Danny Bonaduce a survivor NOW, but that’s about as far as you get. Diff’rent Strokes, of course, were all criminals at one point, or on drugs, or both. And,…

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