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Remember Star Trek II? You know, Wrath of Khan? Well there’s this scene that people love to laugh at. Maybe you’ve heard of it. And I see people of all types going on about what a ham Shatner is and how he overplays that yell and how goofy it is and all of that.

And yet they all seem to miss the point that it’s a god damned ruse! Look. Khan has Kirk and friends on the planet. Trapped. The Enterprise is stopped and can not help them. So Khan abandons them on the planet to die a slow death. Here’s the final exchange:

Kirk: Khan, you bloodsucker. You’re going to have to do your own dirty work now! Do you hear me? Do you?

Khan: Kirk? You’re still alive, my old friend?

Kirk: Still, “old friend!” You’ve managed to kill everyone else, but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target!

Khan: Perhaps I no longer need to try, Admiral.

Kirk: Khan… Khan, you’ve got Genesis, but you don’t have me. You were going to kill me, Khan. You’re going to have to come down here. You’re going to have to come down here!

Khan: I’ve done far worse than kill you, Admiral. I’ve hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet… buried alive!

Kirk: KHAAANNNN!

And there’s your yell. EXCEPT! Before that we had this:

Kirk: Captain Spock, damage report.

Spock: Admiral, if we go by the book. like Lieutenant Saavik, hours could seem like days.

Kirk: I read you captain. Let’s have it.

Spock: The situation is grave, Admiral. We won’t have main power for six days Auxiliary power has temporarily failed. Restoration may be possible, in two days. By the book, Admiral.

Kirk: Meaning you can’t even beam us back?

Spock: Not at present.

Kirk: Captain Spock, if you don’t hear from us within one hour, your orders are to restore what power you can, take the Enterprise to the nearest star base, and alert Starfleet Command as soon as you’re out of jamming range.

Uhura: Sir, we won’t leave you behind!

Kirk: Uhura, if you don’t hear from us, there won’t be anybody behind. Kirk out.

And so we have it set up that Kirk and friends are trapped, right? There’s this scene telling us the Enterprise will leave. Then Khan goes and ditches them and Kirk loses it. Uhm. No.

See not long after that Khan yell, the Enterprise beams Kirk up. Because the whole “Hours will seem like days” thing was code. Really fucking obvious code, even. But Kirk knew if Khan didn’t get out of there the Enterprise would get fucked when it came back for them. And how do you make Khan leave? Convince him that he’s won and broken you. By losing your shit. So you fake it and yell as big time as possible and scream your fool head off.

And yet people who have seen the movie seem to utterly miss this. Kirk isn’t losing his shit and screaming in frustration. He’s faking it to make it. Going so large it can’t be missed. Not only did it fool Khan, it seems to have fooled almost every who sees it.

So in a Bollywood film they put on a musical theatre bit about He-Man. It’s like He-Man on ice, I guess, except no ice. It is also oddly catchy. So there ya go. A musical He-Man moment in the middle of the film.

A lot of people have been posting this, so here you go: Han Solo, P.I. for all you old Magnum fans:

“But we want more,” you tell me, “not just that one!” And so I oblige with:

MacGuyver/Star Wars

A-Team/Star Wars

CHiPs/Star Wars

Well, this is kinda fucked up but kind of what happens. When you sell rights to things they don’t always come back. And sometimes that can bite you. It’s life and it isn’t pretty and I’m not saying this is just desserts or anything (though Whedon hated the film and I don’t like the show and love the film) it’s just … life in the food chain.

(via The Hollywood Reporter) A new incarnation of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” could be coming to the big screen.

“Buffy” creator Joss Whedon isn’t involved and it’s not set up at a studio, but Roy Lee and Doug Davison of Vertigo Entertainment are working with original movie director Fran Rubel Kuzui and her husband, Kaz Kuzui, on what is being labeled a remake or relaunch, but not a sequel or prequel.

While Whedon is the person most associated with “Buffy,” Kuzui and her Kuzui Enterprises have held onto the rights since the beginning, when she discovered the “Buffy” script from then-unknown Whedon. She developed the script while her husband put together the financing to make the 1992 movie, which was released by Fox.

Kuzui later teamed with Gail Berman, then president of Sandollar Television, bringing back Whedon to make the TV series, which was produced by Fox TV and launched on the WB in 1997. Kuzui and Sandollar received executive producer credits on “Buffy” and its spinoff, “Angel.”

The new “Buffy” film, however, would have no connection to the TV series, nor would it use popular supporting characters like Angel, Willow, Xander or Spike. Vertigo and Kuzui are looking to restart the story line without trampling on the beloved existing universe created by Whedon, putting the parties in a similar situation faced by Paramount, J.J. Abrams and his crew when relaunching “Star Trek.”

……

The parties are meeting with writers and hearing takes, and later will look for a home for the project. The producers do not rule out Whedon’s involvement but have not yet reached out to him.Speaking from Tokyo, Fran Kuzui said the company is constantly approached not only about sequels but theater, video games and foreign remakes for “Buffy.” When Vertigo’s Lee contacted them, they were intrigued.

——————

So a new slayer, keeping the property moving, making it, well: “The goal would be to make a darker, event-sized movie that would, of course, have franchise potential.” and what’s wrong with that? That Whedon isn’t involved? Well, all right but he might be, and if he isn’t these are folks who have had a hand in it since the start and want it to succeed. So who knows. But I wonder how many fans will disown it before they even see it just because of this ad refuse to give it a chance? I also wonder if maybe I’ll like this version.

But chances are high they will ask Whedon along to the party and this is a kerfluffle over nothing. Let’s be honest.

So I finally saw the new Star Trek movie last night. Overall I liked it. It was a good film. I enjoyed myself, had a nice time, would see it again – all the things that make for a good movie. There were times it felt very Trek and times it felt like something new and that isn’t bad, either.

Still I have some specific type thoughts, both good and bad, so I’ll put them under a cut. A cut that will act as a Spoiler Warning zone.

One last chance to turn away. Just sayin’

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Robert Downey Jr’s Holmes film gets its first trailer. Discuss.

So back in the days of Galaxy Quest … it seems that Weaver’s agent was having a birthday and she couldn’t be there. So she, along with the help of some Galaxy Quest cast members, made his this present.

Yes, the My Little Pony live action movie trailer. It’s … uhm … ok I’d go see it.

So the other night I watched Grease with a Grease virgin. And wow that term is bad. But anyway, yeah, he likes musicals, but hadn’t, somehow, seen Grease. It happens. When it does happen I can often be found swooping down with a dvd and fixing the problem.

Now, see, I love Grease. It is a fantastic show. No, I take that back. It is magical. Not in the Xanadu sense, either. It’s just so … very, you know? And when I think of Grease I think of Danny Zuko and the sports montage. I think of Sandy and her robotically impossible cheeks of doom (dear lord if those things were any redder and more perfectly round it … no they could not be). I think of things like that. The fun moments. The entire staging of You’re the One That I Want before it devolves into We go together. You know, when Olivia Newton-John is wearing the tightest pants known to man and filling them out as God intended? And Travolta isn’t touched by the strangeness of Scientology yet, he’s just a pisan who can dance the fuck out of things. It’s made of pure musical goofy win.

And then I watch it with someone who hasn’t seen it and I am forced to remember the rest of it. The surreal nature of the beast. Look, most musicals are surreal. By nature they have to be. People break into song at random and no one notices (and before a bunch of you comment or ask or email yes I’ve seen Enchanted) and people can all dance and … sure, sure.

But Grease. Well. It’s something more. During Greased Lightning it’s not enough to go into a fantasy world where the car is this awesome ultra-car (wait, really, because that car isn’t as cool as the real Greased Lightening ends up and that always bothers me) but that the garage they work in turns into this ultra modern white spotless space. An untouched, spotless white operating theatre. To work on a car in. I just … sure.

And it keeps going. It doesn’t back down. At no point does Grease decide it needs to back up and make sense. Never! It’s a simple story of:

Boy meets girl, girls transfers to boys school, boy and girl both circle each other and try to change to be what the other one wants, boy drives in drag race, girl does nothing, boy builds a flying car, girl skips some, boy dances, girl runs off crying, boy and girl end up together because girl becomes who the boy wants.

Simple! Easy! Insane!

I love it so much it hurts.

But man is it fucking insane.

Val Kilmer got the swine flu! OH NOES!