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Game of Heathers

Game of Heathers

I just realized that Heathers, yes the movie, fits really well into Game of Thrones. Yes, really. Think of it like this:

You have Heather Lannister, Heather Baratheon, and Heather Greyjoy and then poor Veronica Stark. Meanwhile everyone is afraid of the new kid Slater Targaryen. Now, I haven’t read ahead or anything but I really hope Veronica blows up King’s Landing.

Also I want to reshoot Heathers with Heather Lannister’s brother Tyrion involved.

But anyway! Yeah. Heather Stark moves to King’s Landing, and she hates it. It’s run by this clique of Heathers. Well, you know how this story goes. Slater is feared, he’s known as Dragon Boy, and hooks up with Ronnie. They manage to accidently kill Heather Baratheon (well Ronnie thinks it’s an accident at first) and now the wheels start to come off.

Also – late in the movie the God of Tits and Wine shows up.

But really, come on, admit this to yourself and to me – Heathers works as Game of Thrones far too well. Which really means that GoT is, quietly, just a teen romance black comedy disguised as something far bigger. But now you’ll never unsee it.

You’re welcome.

What Ticketmaster fees are used for.

I love going to concerts. I mean music is one of the big highlights of my life, of my every breathing day, so going to go see people play music live is always amazing. Music, music, music.

Recently I got tickets to go see one of my favorite bands (Flogging Molly). They are great in studio but even better live. I try to see them every time they are in NY, which is about once a year. None of this is my point.

My point is that this year the Ticketmaster fees were 1/4 of the total price. Quite seriously, a full 25% of the final price was all Ticketmaster “fees” which leaves me asking myself what these fees could possibly be. So I made a list.

A List Of Possible Reasons for/Uses for Ticketmaster Fees:

* Fees used to buy a zoo / feed resulting animals.

* Executives are building a life-sized papercraft moon. Out of money.

* Fees burned as tribute to Korrok.

* This is what pays for Honey Boo-Boo, you fools. This!

* The British didn’t lose the war, guys, they simply were all “Ha, no tea tax, ey? Fucking right, let’s tax tickets instead, bastard Colonies,” and we never caught on.

* Fees used to continue to pay down Prince’s Ruffle debt.

* Each fee is preserved in amber to show future generations exactly how fucking stupid we were when it came to being willing to pay anonymous fees.

I don’t know, but I think it must be at least one of these.

S.H.I.E.L.D. – the theme

So with Joss Whedon poised to do a S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show I figgered one good cost saving measure would be to reuse the Firefly theme and just change around the words some. Well, then I thought I’d be helpful, see, and do it for them. So, below, is the new S.H.I.E.L.D. theme:

Take my Cube, remake the land
Take me where only A.I.M. can stand
I don’t care, I’m still free
You can’t take Helicarriers from me.

Kill me off, try that tack
Tell them I ain’t comin’ back
Replace me with an LMD
You can’t take Helicarriers from me.

Leave my flyin’ car where it lay
It won’t never see another day
Lost clearance, blew the scheme
You can’t take Helicarriers from me.

I feel Hydra reaching out
And Zodiac’s song without a doubt
I still hear and I still see
You can’t take Helicarriers from me.

Lost sight of Dum-Dum Dugan
Howlin’ Commandos on the run.
There’s no place I can be
Since I’ve found Nick Fury.

And you can’t take Helicarriers from me.

————

I’m not sorry.

In Sound From Way Out

On my desk at the day job I still have my radio. This is a double cassette deck / CD / radio I got in ’93. It hasn’t been used in about three years but it still works. Except the CD player. That’s kinda iffy, honestly. It has an AKIRA sticker on top. This was my only radio from ’93-’99 and then when I took this job it ended up on my desk and was the office sound machine for many years until we switched to Pandora on a communal machine.

Today I was joking about it with a coworker and absently popped the cassette decks open. And there was, in Deck 1, a tape. and I looked at it and smiled.

It is still one of the best releases ever. I have long since replaced my copy, and the only thing I have that plays cassettes is this one radio no my desk still (why is it still here – no one knows, but it is).

I should put it back, for emergency Funk reasons.

Posers.

I’ve seen a bunch of anger toward “posers” recently and I don’t get it. There are people getting mad because people are pretending to like something only because it is cool to like it, but they don’t really like it or get it. And that’s… bad?

How – that’s my problem – how is it bad?

If you like something you want it to do well, to succeed and thrive. More people spending money on it, talking about it, drawing focus to it bring that all home. They make the thing you love better funded and better accepted. They widen its base and spread it around.

But they don’t really like it, and so that’s bad.

Because the thing you like getting bigger is a horrible idea.

If you like something, if you truly enjoy it and want it to live, you want it to grow bigger. And that means more people looking at it. I don’t care if you somehow feel special because it is this little unknown thing in a closet just for you and your friends. That’s the way this shit dies early, by being kept hidden away. So – choose – do you want it to thrive or want it to fail? And if the answer is thrive then grow up!

Because according to you a “poser” is someone who is faking enjoyment of a thing. What you really mean is: They don’t enjoy it “enough” according to you, Grand Master Of How Much People Like Things.

I mean really. You wouldn’t want someone telling you you are enjoying things “wrong” would you? But you feel free to say it to other people.

“Oh no, this person here says they like Street Fighter but they don’t even know all the character names!”

Uhm. So the fuck what? You can like something and not obsess over it. You can like something and just, you know, like it.

You do not get to decide how much anyone else likes something, anymore than they can judge you for it.

Some people have to know every detail of a thing they like. Some don’t. It’s all fine! Look, me just kinda enjoying a thing you are hardcore into doesn’t weaken your enjoyment! It doesn’t make the thing you love any less of a thing. It just means I like it, but differently. And that is all right. It really is.

Deciding people are posers is elitist bullshit, the kind of stuff that most people outgrow around 7th grade. Get with it. Move along. Grow up. Let people enjoy things however much or little they enjoy them and understand it doesn’t affect your enjoyment of that thing one tiny bit. And then be thankful for the so-called posers – for helping that thing you love stay alive. Thank them! Your petty, twisted, selfish love isn’t enough.

These guys, the ones you think don’t care enough to obsess – they help a ton. Deal with it. And stop telling other people what they can and can’t like and how much they have to like something to be valid. Doing that is why we can’t have nice things. Seriously – you guys are the problem.

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