Two things for you today:

First, I want this t-shirt. It is from Japan and the only way I can find it is in an eBay auction where it is 45 bucks or so. But man who doesn’t want a Pedobear vs Ronald McDonald tshirt?

Yeah.

The second thing is all about Biff. As in Tanner. It seems that Tom Wilson, who played Biff, is a funny guy who does stand-up while singing little funny songs as often as not. Who knew! Here is Biff’s Question Song, which had me laughing quite a bit:

For the few of you who haven’t seen this one yet: Christopher Walken performing Lady Gaga’s Poker Face:

(via Sci Fi Squad) !s Hasbro’s ‘Jem’ Ready for Her Big Comeback?

Hasbro, high off their big earnings from Transformers and G.I. Joe, are looking into their massive toy box for another hit franchise. According to Pajiba, the company, along with Peter Barsocchini (screenwriter of all three High School Musicals), plan on a revival of the 1980’s all-girl glam-rock adventure show Jem.

The article is vague on the details of what Jem’s licensing resuscitation will entail, whether it means Hasbro is working on a new cartoon or a live-action movie. My guess is that the toys will come first — that’s still Hasbro’s bread-and-butter — and the projects, whatever they may be, will follow. Jem creator Christy Marx would like to update the property for a new generation of young girls (and open-minded boys), but, personally, I like the idea of keeping Jem firmly set in the late 1980’s. New projects based on Jem weren’t feasible until 2008, when Hasbro was able to cut through legal red tape and acquire all of their original Sunbow animated library from a corporate entity called “TV Loonland”.

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This is all early news and nothing could ever come of it. So take it gently. But. I mean it could happen.

Would it be good? Who knows. The big problem is if you take Jem out of the 80s will it work at all? Have we reached a point where this is simply the Josie movie (which I adored) all over again?

It’s a question and if this goes forward then we’ll see. And if it dies then it does and I’m certain it’ll come up again.

This thing right here
Is lettin all the ladies know
Who guys talk about
You know
The coolest guy they know
Hahaha
Check it out

Ooh dat jacket so scandalous
And ya know another hipster couldn’t handle it
See ya tiltin’ that hip like who’s da ish
With a comb through your hair so oily slick

Uh
Ya like to dance at Arnold’s Drive-in lot
And ya cruise to the crews like connect da dots
Not just suburban I like soda pop
Even though I’m drinking a milk shake: cocoa

I make the jukebox go with a thump thump thump
I’ve jumped a shark like what what what
Cunningham’s a chump chump chump

Uh
I think I’ll sing it again
I make the jukebox go with a thump thump thump
I’ve jumped a shark like what what what

All night long
Let me see that thong
‘Cause I am the Fonz
Fonz F-F-F-Fonz Fonz Fonz

Yes that’s right it’s Klenginem! A guy in Klingon get-up, rapping in Klingon. He’s translated Eminem’s Without Me into Klingon and is performing it here, for you. Oh yes, he is.

Pete sent this to me. I can’t stop playing it. Give it a listen and learn to love it:

The Jimmy Blair Accordion Orchestra practices its performance of Final Countdown:

It’s Monday morning. Already the week is going slideways. No that’s not a typo. Man, this is gonna be an interesting set of days. But it will all work out. You’ll see.

Yah I don’t got much good to talk about right now. Spend a bunch of the weekend either working or hanging out. Well, you know, Friday I sat around and watched stuffed with Vin and that was a great time as always. Then up Saturday to send out some books and then work. Saturday night Hammerpants and I ended up downtown.

It was raining, but we didn’t let that stop us. Sidewalk was empty. I mean no one else in the place but us. The waitress was dangerously bored. For those of you who read TWWM she was Melina. I mean looked like her, talked like her, the works. Very odd.

So Hammerpants orders and I have no idea.

Waitress: I can come back?

Me: No, let him order, if I can’t decide by then I get no food. It’s a Darwin thing.

Hammerpants orders. Waitress turns to me and laughs, and starts making ticking noises. I order fast. She skips away. Yes. Skips. She kept breaking into random dance as well. And twirling. There was a lot of twirling.

A bit later some women came in and sat down behind Hammerpants and I. They talked to the Waitress a while and then left. A few minutes later Waitress comes back to us to take a plate away or something.

Me: I have to ask… those two who left. Darwin?

Waitress: Yeah, they couldn’t decide what they wanted fast enough so I told ‘em to get out.

Me: See, Hammerpants? SEE? I told you that was how it worked!

And then she laughed more and wandered away, getting to the end of the place before twirling.

Anyway, we left and wandered in the rain a while, while bitching we were wandering in the rain. Which is how it goes some nights. Ended up getting home around 2:30 in the morning and then spent a while online talking to a publisher about a project or two (his and mine) and Wordpress things and so on.

And then I heard about this old blues song today. How Could Little Red Riding Hood? by A.P. Randolph (written in 1925). Lets take a single verse:

How could Little Red Riding Hood
Have been so very good
And still keep the wolf from the door?
Job? Father? Mother? No! She had none.
So where in the world did the money come from?
I need to ask it:
Who filled her basket?
The story books never tell.
They say that she found a wolf in Granny’s bed
With a great big sun bonnet pulled over his head,
But sometimes I wonder what she found instead.
How could Little Red Riding Hood
Have been so very very good
And still kept the wolf from the door?

I do love me some old timey folksy blues songs about Red Riding Hood’s whoring and bestiality. Awww yeah.

I give you a new recipie for winning! Total Eclipse of the Heart + an all men’s choir named “Only Men Aloud” (featuring Bonnie Tyler) + do the entire video in Lego.

Yes, that’s right. You read all of that correctly. Yup.

Today I think we just need some funk.