Welcome to Adam P. Knave dot com

Adam P. Knave is a freelance writer and editor who has written fiction (CRAZY LITTLE THINGS and STRANGE ANGEL, STAYS CRUNCHY IN MILK), comics (LEGEND OF THE BURRITO BLADE and THINGS WRONG WITH ME and stories appearing in Image's POPGUN anthology) and columns for sites such as thefoonote, TwoHeadedCat and PopCultureShock. He is also one of the editors of Image's POPGUN anthology as well as other comic projects.


In which I am honest.

Filed Under (NY Life, stuff and things) by APK on 29-05-2009

APK: Wanna see a pic of an earthworm bigger than your hand?

Marianne: NO THANK YOU!

APK: Ok. Thought I’d ask.

Marianne: GLARE

APK: What? I asked! I didn’t just post a link!

Marianne: Uh-huh.

APK: I coulda! And you woulda clicked it!

Marianne: True.

APK: But I did NOT! Because I am a GOOD PERSON! …ok that was a stretch. I am an OK person MOSTLY.

Marianne: I do think you are a good person. You are not always a NICE person though.

(Do YOU want to see the pic? Click here.)

Kids today!

Filed Under (NY Life, stuff and things) by APK on 26-03-2009

Kids today, huh? I know, right? They have everything and it’s spoiled them silly. They can’t do research or fix anything. They can’t learn right and expect everything to be handed to them on a platter.

Why in my day…

Shut the fuck up.

Technology is curved. Shit has been getting easier and every generation since the very first have played a round of “in my day.”

“Fuck, Bob, in my day we didn’t HAVE legs and couldn’t breathe air.”

Yeah, we get it. Your grandparents didn’t have the ease of access to cars their kids did, letting them travel so far and wide. Distance didn’t mean as much. Community was going to erode.

And your parents, shit they didn’t have TV the way you did. Holy shit! That will destroy all sense of community! It will raise kids automatically and ruin them forever.

Now your kids have the internet as kids. This will destroy community forever. They will learn to expect information to be handed to them and…

This is not new. It has never been new. It is, in fact, so old it is fucking stupid. Yes, every generation loses some information tat might have seemed necessary to the one before it. Things get easier and so on. But they also gain new things. Think of how much better you can sort massive amounts of data than your parents or grandparents generally can. Think of how you manage multiple data streams. I mean shit.

Everyone loses.

Everyone gains.

That’s the way it works. We lose the ability to breathe underwater one day. We gained the ability to breathe air. Well, not like it was a switch but you see what I mean.

And this isn’t saying everything is for the better but come on.

A friend has a kid who didn’t want to do research for a paper. Expected Google to hand him everything, to the point of not wanting to go through the links and comb for data. Well, shitfuck, ok that can get old for me, too, some nights. But that isn’t the point.

The point is that in my day you went to libraries but some kids just wanted to look it up in an encyclopedia and be done. They wanted it handed to them from the broadest source they had. Or they only wanted to go to one library not two.

And so it goes.

The idea, the feelings, don’t change at all. The external shapes do. Mistaking one for the other doesn’t help.

So yeah. Those damn kids today. Evolving. Finding new problems as they use things in intuitive ways we don’t instantly see, just as did with tech our parents gave us way early. How dare they?

Farscape 10th anniversary shirt TODAY ONLY.

Filed Under (stuff and things) by APK on 19-03-2009

A tshirt on sale FOR ONE DAY ONLY! The Farscape 10th Anniversary T. Yes. Really.

You can buy it here for $18 bucks.

Virgins, now in chart form, by major.

Filed Under (stuff and things) by APK on 19-03-2009

Considering your major? Well now the fine folks at Wellesley College’s Counterpoint Magazine have given you a handy guide that may help your decision:

Yes this chart shows you the percentage of students at Wellesley that are virgins, by major. So if, for example, you really like biology, chances are you will not get to study it … uhm outside the lab … much at all. At least 72% of you won’t. Spanish majors get laid more often than French majors and Computer Science nerds seem to get it on a lot.

Though no one, and I mean no one fucks more than Studio Art majors. It is now a proven fact.

Light Saber-Tooth Tiger

Filed Under (stuff and things) by APK on 13-03-2009

It’s time for a T-Shirt of the week:

The Light Saber-Tooth Tiger is an awesome beast which must be both feared and respected. Word up!

Release Hammer!

Filed Under (stuff and things) by APK on 05-03-2009

Found on Boingboing where, I am told, it came from the internet.

Batman Hoodie – Now with crappy screen printed FACE.

Filed Under (comics, stuff and things) by APK on 03-03-2009

There have been many Batman hoodies over time. Many of them. But this one wins some sort of prize.


Not only is it kinda just ugly but then you can zip it all the way up and it has a face on it! WHY DOES IT HAVE A FACE? Like do you think someone will mistake you for Batman if you have a black and white hoodie on with a FACE ON IT?

For the record the eyes have a mesh over them you can supposedly see though. According to the website: It’s a type of mesh that you can see through while still keeping others from seeing you. (If you have trouble because the hoodie’s too far from your face, try some double sided tape to keep the hoodie up against your face.)

Yes, if your hoodie won’t let you see through the fake face just try taping it to your head. Sound advice, thank you gentlemen! And really the cheap grey scale of it all just feels like something they did on a laser printer at Kinkos, you know? Quality fucking work. Christ this thing is horrible and ugly.

You can buy one here if you insist. Keep in mind they cost as follows: L – XL $73.99 / XXL $77.99 / XXXL $77.99

That’s a lot of money to wear someone’s grey-scale screen printed face.

Brains!

Filed Under (stuff and things) by APK on 25-02-2009

I just found the best zombie shirt yet. This week. At least. No, this year, so far. It wins. I want one:

Pluto rocks.

Filed Under (stuff and things) by APK on 18-02-2009

Found the best billboard ever. Pluto represent!

And of course I am still selling shirts with the following:

Unsafe at any speed.

Filed Under (porn, stuff and things, wtf?!) by APK on 17-02-2009

All right so the image below is kinda long. But bear with me. Below is a screen shot from Auto-Trader.com, a site that lets you sell or buy cars. Simple. It’s a 1993 Lincoln Mark VIII and it goes for $1200 cold. Not bad, so far. Now let me show you the ad:

So as you looked at that, everything looked great, right? Until, if you saw it, you got to the comments. To recap them:

Car was used in adult film “Highway Gangbang – In Da Butt.” May require some light interior cleaning. Car must be moved ASAP.

Uhm. Well, Jesus. I am going to guess that the car would need far more than “light” interior cleaning. Perhaps a light interior boiling? Also I want to know, I mean highway gangbang “in da butt,” as it were, sounds dangerous. Sex on the highway is bad enough but a gangbang inside a moving car? Even though the Mark VIII is a fairly roomy car, I don’t think you can have a safety conscious gangbang inside one while on the road, much less one that focused so heavily on anal.

But anyway. If you wanted to buy piece of film history you could! I guess. If this counts. It’s a piece of something.

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