It’s time once again for Consumerism Wow! This is the July edition. It is still July when this goes up. At least one item is only offered for July so runrunRUN! If you’ve forgotten how this works, it’s simple! I like t-shirts. Lauren likes t-shirts. Lauren is also awesome and so we decided to make this post where the following will happen! I picked some t-shirts! She then told me why I picked those shirts. I then told her why she was utterly wrong.

Thing #1

Lauren: Who’s the mustachioed presidential pick who’s a sex machine to all the chicks? Who’s the cat that won’t cop out when there’s Democrats allllll about? They say this cat Taft is a baaad mother–

Adam: Shut yo’ mouth! …and that’s why this shirt exists.

Thing #2

Lauren: I… I don’t want any of the Elder Gods using Twitter. It’s bad enough as it is! I mean. ReTweets and pronfollows and foursquare are enough to drive anyone mad already. Are you one of Twithulu’s cultists? Is that why you want this shirt? Fess up.

Adam: Cultist is such a strong word. We prefer “Empire Building Joy Minion” these days. Besides when Twitthulhu comes and devours the souls of everyone on twitter who will notice?
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It’s time for a new Consumerism Wow! This is where Lauren and I gather our wits and discuss things we want to buy. This time out Lauren picks items, I tell her why she wants them and then she tells me why I’m stupid. It’s awesome fun for everyone. This edition is over at Lauren’s site. An example:

Adam: When Lauren wants to get her drank on, that kid don’t play! See what I did there? Yeah you do. You want this shirt just so you can be as clear as humanly possible. When it’s time for you to drink, don’t bring you no problems.

Lauren: Drankin’ is serious business when you’re me! I only have a tequila and a half worth of booze to avail myself of during any given “booze time” before I’ll start giggling and having to lean on things and otherwise being useless. I cannot afford to be careless when booze time begins, as the general public should be made aware.

GO READ THE REST OF THE MADNESS

It’s time once again for Consumerism Wow! It’s been a while, because we’re slackers. No! Because we got busy with other stuff. But regardless! If you’ve forgotten how this works, it’s simple! I like t-shirts. Lauren likes t-shirts. Lauren is also awesome and so we decided to make this post where the following will happen! I picked some t-shirts! She then told me why I picked those shirts. I then told her why she was utterly wrong.

Thing #1

Lauren: Actually, I have been wanting this necklace. You probably also want it so that you can confuse and scare normals and other non-geeks, but you’re not allowed. I called it first.

Adam: I don’t remember hearing you call dibs. That hardly seems fair. But, I suppose, since I just called Shotgun for Life, I’ll let this slide.

Thing #2

Lauren: First off, can I say that I love how ThinkGeek filed this under “Tech Jewelry”? I love that. But you want this not only because of cute labeling. You want this because the Evil got into your hand, it went “bad”, you had to lop it off, and now you’re stuck in the past where you don’t have access to chainsaw fuel. So you’re going to make this sucker mechanical and fight some more of the Evil dead. Except I’m not sure how you’re getting Internet access in the past, and come to think of it, this is really not the first thing I’d order online if I were trying to fight Evil with temporally limited resources. Not very clever, Adam.

Adam: Oh sure, use my remaining Internet Into The Future time to berate me for my ordering choices. Nice one. No, silly. I want this so that when I go around dope slapping people upside the head it will be a Dope Slap of Dooooom. Dooooooooooom, I tell you! None shall mess with DOOM! Damn that Richards! DAMN HIM TO… Oh, sorry, where was I?
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Things Wrong With Me, episode 88 went up today.

I did a special Talking Heads, as well, with Hasslehoff, Kato and Tiger Woods.

And the second part of T-Shirts with Adam and Lauren (also known as Consumerism Wow!) went up!

It’s that time again, only different! I like t-shirts. Lauren likes t-shirts. Lauren is also awesome and so we decided to make this post where the following will happen! Lauren picked some t-shirts, and other stuff! I then told her why she picked those shirts. She then told me why I was dumb.

Except this time it is different! This is a holiday guide edition of the game, and as such there are things here that are not shirts. Also this is part one. Part two will be posted by Lauren (featuring things I picked) either tonight or tomorrow at her site. I’ll be sure to let you know when it goes live.

Isn’t this a fun game! I think that it is! Each shirt will have the image of the thing that you can click to go buy that very thing for yourself! We did 9 in this post again. Somehow I thought it was 10. It is 9. Also, this time out, Lauren manages to call me a dickweed. Yeah. We got some holiday spirit, folks.

THING #1

Adam: You want this just to make tea in it and then run around claiming that tea is somehow better than coffee, don’t you? I’m onto you. Oh yes.

Lauren: But coffee is totally better than tea! Except when it’s not. There isn’t enough really good tea in my life. Also, to quote a fictional man who knows (Giles! He’s British!), tea is soothing. [Sometimes] I wish to be tense.

THING #2

Adam: But… kittens are NOT poptarts. I… you do know that, right? You don’t put kittens in the toasters – do you? DO YOU LAUREN?!

Lauren: I’m allergic to kittens. I’d have to touch them if I were gonna put them in a toaster, and then I’d be all sneezy. That wouldn’t do at all. ….I mean, OF COURSE NOT, THAT WOULD BE WRONG AND NOT AT ALL LIKE A DELICIOUS TOASTED SHELF-STABLE PASTRY.
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It’s time once again for Consumerism Wow! This time out Lauren hosts the event and I pick the shirts! If you’ve forgotten how this works, it’s simple! I like t-shirts. Lauren likes t-shirts. Lauren is also awesome and so we decided to make this post where the following will happen! I picked some t-shirts! She then told me why I picked those shirts. I then told her why she was utterly wrong.

To give you an idea of how this will go I present the first 2 of the 10 shirts we discussed:

SHIRT #1

Lauren: You live in the space between joy and melancholy! Wearing this will be like normal other people wearing t-shirts from their high school, college, or plucky local athletic team.

Adam: My athletic team, The NY Death-Bringers What Bring Death, are VERY plucky thank you. This shirt just reminds me that sometimes you’re in that little slice of Meh and all you can do is go meh about it.

SHIRT #2

Lauren: You always sort of thought that Han Solo would make a better band frontman than a smuggler (a short punt, as he really is the galaxy’s worst smuggler), and you’re so happy to see him finally finding some kind of life fulfillment that you want to support him by wearing this t-shirt. You’re a good friend to fictional characters, Adam.

Adam: Close, but really I feel whenever Han is on screen Eddie van Halen should be playing, instead of that instrumental score they have for Star Wars. Han running down a hallway from Stormtroopers? Hot for Teacher! Han flying through an asteroid field? Panama!

There are eight other shirty exchanges awaiting you on Lauren’s blog! Hie thee to the t-shirts!

Welcome, fearless reader! I like t-shirts. Lauren likes t-shirts. Lauren is also awesome and so we decided to make this post where the following will happen! Lauren picked some t-shirts! I then told her why she picked those shirts. She then told me why I was dumb.

Isn’t that a fun game! I think that it is! Each shirt will have the image of the shirt that you can click to go buy that very shirt for yourself! We did exactly 9 shirts. Why 9 and not 10? Because I miscounted and screwed it all up, ruining it for everyone. I am why we can’t have nice things. Now you know.

SHIRT #1

Adam: You want this shirt because the little guy not only looks like a spinning top but his furless bottom intrigues you in a special way that makes me kinda uncomfortable.

Lauren: Hey, I want nothing to do with furless bottoms! ….Wait. No. Um. Okay, I like furless bottoms. I don’t particularly want THIS creature’s furless bottom for any kind of nefarious purposes. I just empathize with him. Because I too unravel my pants sometimes. ….Wait. No. I JUST LIKE ANDREW BELL OKAY.

SHIRT #2

Adam: Well this is an easy one. Everyone wants this shirt. Not only was it originally seen in Japan, but it also sums up all of our fears as we walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Fuck This Life. Plus the red seems ginchy. And we all need more ginchy red shirts.

Lauren: That’s… actually exactly correct. Also, it’s so chipper! I am secretly Lauren The Perky Goth.

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