HAHAHAHA! A man walks into a bar!

He’s perfectly normal. He isn’t carrying anything strange, no animals are with him and he isn’t wearing anything out of the ordinary!

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

He walks up to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender asks him what kind of beer. The man apologizes and orders more specifically!

AHAHAHAHAHAH-heheheheheheheh-HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH!

The bartender gives the man his drink. The man takes his beer and sips it. He likes it.

So the bartender asks, “Hey, you have all of your arms and legs, right?” and the man says that he does. “Good,” says the bartender, “but you aren’t a robot, are you?” The man tells no and takes another sip of beer.

“That’s great,” the bartender says, “because I hate stupid fucking robots with no arms or legs!” HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!

Best joke ever!

Oh fuck off, meatsack.

HAHAHAHAHAH! BEST JOKE EVER! AHHAHAHAHAHA!

Things Wrong With Me, episode 88 went up today.

I did a special Talking Heads, as well, with Hasslehoff, Kato and Tiger Woods.

And the second part of T-Shirts with Adam and Lauren (also known as Consumerism Wow!) went up!

Oh, ho, ho, time for a new Talking Heads with Shatner and Feldman.

Time for a new Talking Heads with Shatner and Feldman: http://bit.ly/5hLioh

You see, I’m crazy. Anyway. Since Talking Heads moved to its ongoing Wednesday @ noon slot (catch it tomorrow) on Mamapop.com they had this Tuesday @ 3 slow still open and, well, one thing led to another.

So welcome to the ongoing column: Interpretive Dunce! A weekly column where I will be interpreting song lyrics. In strange ways, of course. But there is something else to it. After this initial column, the readers get to pick the songs I interpret. Leave a comment on the column’s post and I will randomly pick one of the songs named to use for the next column.

Please note: Only comments left on the actual column (follow this this link here) will be considered. Comments for songs here will be ignored.

There you go. So it now works like this:

Monday – New Burrito Blade page

Tuesday – New Things Wrong With Me episode, Interpretive Dunce (@3pm)

Wednesday – New Burrito Blade page, Talking Heads (@noon)

Thursday – New Things Wrong With Me episode

Friday – New Burrito Blade page

And every day M-F I will try to update this place at least once.

So I have this new column at MamaPop.com. But, you ask, what is it? Well they asked what I wanted to do and so I thought. I ran through all the options for what I could do for an ongoing column at a pop culture website that they didn’t already have other people doing (probably better than I could) and came up blank for a second. So I did what I always do in those situations – look back and see if there is something I did once upon a time that I would want to take out and adapt a bit and do again because I loved it and had to put it away last time.

And I found something. Details of the new/old thing are below the cut…

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So yesterday I ended Talked Heads for good. That wasn’t really the easiest choice I’ve made, but it had to be done. Let me tell you some true things about doing Talking Heads.

For as long as I’ve been doing it I have felt slightly annoyed by the whole affair. I was using other people’s characters in ways that I wanted to do things for myself. But using those characters meant I couldn’t do too much of it, or too loudly or even easily make a big deal out of it. Even with it falling under satire the fact is that the pictures themselves weren’t mine to use, not really, and damn it they weren’t my characters.

And yet I did things to them, gave them certain voices and made them mine. But never in a way I could benefit from or use or really feel ownership about. And that was always frustrating, and just grew more so over the long, long, time I did the thing.

Now when I first started Talking Heads it was just Shatner and Feldman and wasn’t supposed to happen more than once or twice. But it grew a cast and a voice and people liked it and it was fun, mostly, for me to do and … yeah you see what happened. I generally had as much fun writing them as you did reading them (unless you hated the thing in which case I had more fun) except for that nagging feeling that it was never really mine at all. And I know this sounds like a downer of a post but keep going, it has a big payoff in a while.
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Hey!

Hey, Feldawg.

What’s up, Shatmeister?

You haven’t heard?

Heard what?

We’ve been cancelled.

What?! … What?! …. WHAT?!
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So, hey, Bill, I saw the new Start Trek trailer last night…

Shut it.

No, it was … interesting. I mean, at least I see why they didn’t use you in the film.

Why do you need to bring this shit up, Feldawg? I just want to move past it.

No, seriously, have you seen it?

No! Why would I watch it?

Because I’m in it?
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Hey man, how was the holiday?

Pretty good, you know, I had my family over, we ate a lot – the usual. You?

Pretty much the same. That’s us. Two family men, celebrating family with our families.

Dear lord, try and work the word family in there once more why don’t you? What happened? Stripper buffet?

They have a really good buffet at the club, what can I say?

And your family?

They went to somewhere.

They “went to somewhere,” that’s the best you can do?

It was somewhere good, I’m pretty sure.
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