Well, we’re back.

We are that, Feldog. So what’s up this time? Saving the universe from the plans of your evil brother that no one knew about until just now?

I was thinking more along the lines of “Celebrity gossip” and less “Star Trek V”

What does God… need with a… spaceship?

What did… we… need with…. that crappy… script?

All right fine, bitch. Who’s up first?

Scarlett Johansson. She was, according to rumors, a total bitch on the set of Justin Timberlake’s new video.

Woa. Only rumors? Come on now, Feldog.

I know, ShatAttack. But PR-Inside says she denies them, but then reports them. Anyway they say that she was bitch and demanded to know why she couldn’t smoke when they had fire dancers on the set anyway.

She has a point. If she did it. Or said it, or whatever. And besides. It’s Scarlett Johansson. If she wants to smoke on set you ask if you can watch her lips work the filter. You don’t complain.

Right-o, Bill. And for all those anti-smokers who are going to want to bitch and moan about this? Find a real cause, for today at least. Thanks. Yes, it’s evil, horrible, bad, wretched… but she smokes and that’s her choice. Except on the set of a Timbersexy video.

There’s also speculation about those two now isn’t there?

J-Tim and ScarJo? Yeah. Word has it he’s putting his dick in her box, if ya follow.

The blind could follow that one, Feld. Let’s move on to Angelina Jolie. Have you heard this?

Which?

In an Elle interview she said: “I think I feel so much more for Mad and Z because they’re survivors, they came through so much. Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. I have less inclination to feel for her… I met my other kids when they were six months old, they came with personality. A newborn really is this… yes, a blob! But now she’s starting to have a personality… I’m conscious that I have to make sure I don’t ignore her needs just because I think the others are more vulnerable.”

So where’s the problem?

Some people are saying “Oh look, she isn’t a holy saint she loves her adopted kids more.”

And those people are fucking idiots, Bill. Come on, this is a woman who seems to be perfectly honest. She feels more for these kids than for the one she had, because Shiloh was born into grace. And she’s a newborn so there’s no personality to latch onto. But she’s trying and she knows the problem and is doing her best.

If more parents were honest about shit like this…

Haim wouldn’t have happened.

Word. Anyway I think we might be out of time for now, Feldog.

So soon?

It’s heart breaking. But what does God… need with a…

Closing line! Until next time, folks! I’m, Cory Feldman.

And I’m Bill Shatner. And this has been Talking Heads.

I am such a child.

Sure I might be 31 according to your stupid solar year reckoning but realistically? I’m like a 5 year old most days. I have Firefox 2 here at this desk. And sometimes I can zone out just mousing over the scrollbars so that they change color.

Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light Blue.

On my desk I have a little twist of red ribbon, a small binder clip, a mini wrench and two twist ties. These have nothing to do with my day, I just play with them. Currently the ribbon is looped through the binder clip while the wrench is decorated with twist ties. I’m sure that’ll change in a few hours.

In restaurants I will shred paper with all my might. Drives people nuts but I can’t help it, if I find something to play with I’ll play with it. eventually paper self-destructs, you know? Then I end up with a pile of fallout on the table and I’ll just push it around with a finger.

That can keep me entertained for hours, sadly.

It’s partly why I am not allowed to have those large industrial sized rubber bands anymore. They always end up painfully around my head while I sit and wonder why it hurts and try to get free and generally feel stupid. You’d think I would know enough now to not go there, right? Oh how wrong you would be.

I still, to this day, want one of those globes with the electricity in them that you touch and they look all zappity at your fingers. I have a lava lamp I hardly use on my desk at home. Just because I like to look at it when I remember to turn it on during long writing sessions.

I would keep writing this entry, you know, revealing the sadness that is my attention span and shit, but the Firefox sidebars call to me.

Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light blue. Turquoise. Light Blue.

There’s a new issue of The Footnote up! Not only does it have two new columns, Dustin Grovemiller talking about video games in a way that makes me go “Oh, yeah EXACTLY like that” and D.J. Kirkbride making me laugh and shake my head, it also has a new Just the Right Bullets by me as well as an expanded Arm Fall Off Boy article.
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CNN is reporting that Indian Jones 4 is done script-wise, it will shoot in 2007 for a release in May ‘08 and Harrison Ford is, of course, going to star in it. I’m glad that didn’t take far too long to work out and solidify or anything.
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Pitchfork Media did a list of their 100 top songs of ‘06. You can stream, download or watch the video for each song (depending on what they could provide). Which is kinda cool.
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I think we’re too harsh on the year that’s going out. And by “we’re” I mean “y’all”, honestly. I watch it every year. How many years now, go look, have you said that “This last year was kinda sucky (or variations on that theme of suck) but this coming year will be better”?

No slice of 365 days will be perfect. At the end of a slice it will always tend to seem worse than better if you tally it. I suggest breathing, letting it go and generally not giving a fuck about if a given year lived up to some expectation.

Instead? Make sure every DAY counts. Fuck years. They’re too long to work out for you. It’s like the house. The house will always win. Happiness is not an ongoing constant concept. Nor should it be. It simply doesn’t work that way. So sure, on any extended scale the effect will be the same. Reduce the scale. Have a good day. Then have a another one. Focus on the better ends of it instead of the worse.

What? No!

Underdog: the live-action movie.

Plot Outline: A lab accident gives a hound named Shoeshine some serious superpowers — a secret that the dog eventually shares with the young boy who becomes his owner and friend.

Dear lord. It has Jason Lee as the voice of Underdog, but even so. Look at this poster!

Sheesh! It makes Garfield look decent. Ya know? And then there’s this still of Underdog flying around:

Save me.