wtf?!

Poor Ubuntu

Ubuntu, that great desktop linux version, is releasing a version of itself for android phones. Basically when you dock your phone it will let you boot your machine into Ubuntu and share the same contracts, data and so on that are on your phone. Email, bookmarks, etc – all will be on your desktop when you dock your phone, and the OS itself will live on your phone. It’s a really interesting and nifty idea. From the site (http://www.ubuntu.com/devices/android): Ubuntu for Android is a complete desktop with a full range of desktop applications including office, web browsing, email, media and messaging. Personal information like contacts, calendars, photo galleries and music can be accessed from both the phone and the desktop interface. SMS texts arrive on your desktop if you are docked when they show up, and calls are handled like…

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FREE SPERM FROM THE INTERNETS!

Turns out there’s a small but growing movement of finding sperm donors on Craigslist. Now look. Fertility clinics are expensive. I get that. It’s fucked up and a rough bit of business. But turning to guys offering free sperm on Craigslist isn’t going to ever be the way to go. Come on! I don’t tend to trust things on Craigslist if I’m expected to pay for them. Think of how many times you get someone offering a good deal who has wrapped a brick in a box, or some shit like that. And that’s for money! Think of what they do for freesies! Free couch – with a side of Ebola. Free guitar – licked by Satan. Free shoes – cut off a hobo by seller. So now let us consider what could possibly ever in the world go wrong…

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Lasers. Spines.

There I was, looking at a website, nothing out of the ordinary at all. And I clicked on a link and a new page loaded and there, in the corner, was an ad: Blah blah blah, back pain, scam, send us money, neck hurts, pain in my ass maybe, who cares, whatever, go fuck yourse… Did you say laser spine? They wanted me to visit laser spine. Laser. Spine. A spine made out of lasers. A spine that shot lasers. I didn’t know. I ran through a list of possible ideas, each better than the last. Somewhere around the point where I had decided it was, obviously, referring to a porcupine that would work on your back with all of it’s spines made of tiny lasers like acupressure, I realized I simply could not have read that shit right, at…

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Sherwin-Williams is not subtle.

The Sherwin-Williams logo might be the worst logo ever. Not because it’s ugly or accidently looks like something it isn’t. No it’s horrible because I suspect it looks exactly like they meant it to look. Here, this is the original logo: Yeah. They sell paint. And they want to cover the Earth. You know, with paint. By selling, I suppose, a lot of paint. See, they’re gonna be the best paint sellers of all… doesn’t that look like blood to you? I mean it is horrible. That isn’t “we’re gonna sell all the paint” that’s more “buy our paint or the streets will run red with your blood as we correct your purchasing mistakes, fool.” And so I was inspired to make them a few new slogans:

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Triple double

As if crap food wasn’t crap enough we now have Nabisco offering up the Oreo “Triple Double” this summer. Yes, it’s about 1.5 double stuffs. It still isn’t as bad for you as the old Big Stuff was, but they killed that off—probably because it killed too many innocents. Seriously. Fucking stop. Look, I understand Oreos are filled with crickety crack. I get it, I do. I try not to let them near me often because they just get ‘et. But why do we have to make it worse? Can’t we, for once in our lives, just say “enough” and stop while we’re behind?

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Wait, What? – the video of the podcast

I love podcasts in theory. My problem is I can’t work and listen to them, so I end up just not listening to many on a regular basis. There is one, however, one podcast I listen to every week. I find the time to sit and just listen. That podcast is Wait, What? starring Jeff Lester and Graeme McMillan. I love it. And so there are times I do things for Wait, What? like make odd art. And then I had an idea. An idea involving puppets. I would work on getting a video made and it would be glorious. So I asked my good friend Aidan Morgan for help. I clipped up some audio and handed it off and he made a video. It was going to be Sifl & Olly but that didn’t work. Which is when Aidan…

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